Stupid Guest Tricks

hobie16 wrote:Sounds like a literal "burn the bridges" goodbye. I did that once after getting laid off. One of the most satisfying things I've ever done. Had the admins in stitches and my "manager" sputtering incomphrensibly.

I swear I did *not* set that fire!

I don't even know how to make a 17-month fuse....

...but I'm willing to learn.

Zazu wrote:I got one of those calls once. It was from a secret government lab where I had been let go over a year earlier. It came at 3am, so I wasn't all that happy to be talking to them anyway.

"Sir, there has been a fire in the lab."

"So what?

"Um, sir, I said, 'There has been a fire in the lab.'"

"I heard you the first time, I just don't much care at 3am. Call the fire department."

"But sir..."


"Look damnit, this is not freaking 'Andromeda Strain', I was let go over a year ago, I no longer know what's in that lab, and don't have the security clearance to get on base anyway. I say, 'Let it freaking burn!'"

"But, but..."

[click]

Most satisfying phone call since the one that told me I'd gotten that job.

SWMBO and I took a two week Mediterranean cruise last October. With cut backs and such, there was no one who knew how to run my machine so they persuaded my old boss who had retired two years before to replace me. Nothing went right for him. The machine is an electron beam accelerator and it runs fine when "I" run it. He tried to run full tilt every minute of the day instead of gradually ramping up and down. I came back two weeks behind because he couldn't make it run. It took half a week just to get all the little doodads readjusted so it would run right. Probably a good thing they don't have my cell number.

;)

That's why I have caller id on the phone, so I know who NOT to answer. Course I end up answering the dang thing about half the time anyway worried that something's happened to a loved one not in my immediate field of vision.

GaTechGal wrote:That's why I have caller id on the phone, so I know who NOT to answer. Course I end up answering the dang thing about half the time anyway worried that something's happened to a loved one not in my immediate field of vision.

I figure that's what voice mail is for!

My DW used to be the type who could never let the phone go unanswered -- didn't matter if she was napping, in the bathroom, wherever, she hated the thought that she might miss some urgent message. But Caller ID has cured her of that.

TdcOgre wrote:It took half a week just to get all the little doodads readjusted so it would run right.

Sounds like you've got guaranteed employment. :D:

hobie16 wrote:Sounds like you've got guaranteed employment. :D:

True, but it also sounds like he has no guarantee of being permitted to retire!

Zazu wrote:True, but it also sounds like he has no guarantee of being permitted to retire!

Just get a padawon learner. The trick is not to teach them 'everything' until just before retirement. :D:
Anyone remember the end of 'Wizards' ? :twisted:

hobie16 wrote:Sounds like you've got guaranteed employment. :D:

I just wander about with Tigger's song running through my head.

Zazu wrote:True, but it also sounds like he has no guarantee of being permitted to retire!

7 years 1 month 3 weeks 1 day. But who's counting. Though there's a part of me that wants to wait 3 years longer. Then I'd have been at the job for 40 years. Their quinquennial awards have become rather nice. 40 years has a nice bunch of bling attached to it.

darph nader wrote:Just get a padawon learner. The trick is not to teach them 'everything' until just before retirement. :D:
Anyone remember the end of 'Wizards' ? :twisted:

Had one once. We'd gotten an extreme bean counting plant manager ( Is there any other kind?) who thought that since I was working 12 hr. days 5 days a week he'd cut his costs by bringing in a protege for me. I tried to explain that the overtime was a transitory yearly occurrence and it would go away in 4 to 6 weeks. He wouldn't listen and brought in a "real go-getter."

I was down two weeks removing pieces of the titanium window from the vacuum system. Not counting down time it probably cost them 17-20k for repairs. The "go-getter" sought other employment.

darph nader wrote:Just get a padawon learner. The trick is not to teach them 'everything' until just before retirement. :D: :twisted:

Shortly before I left the US Courts my Division was having a reorganization. As part of the planning everyone in the Division was interviewed by the outside consultants.

One of the things they had was a "jobs inventory" of what each person actually did. Most non-supervisory people had 3 - 5 items in the inventory. The supervisors tended to have 6-9 items. I was non-supervisory and had 21 items (maybe that's why I was a GS-14).

Anyway, my job was going to be split out to people in five Sections in three Branches.

My boss told me that my only special assignment for the year before my retirement was to put my thoughts and processes down on paper. I set up a special directory on our shared network drive called "Mike's Replacement's Information" and ended up with a little over 200 documents and spreadsheets in it.