Stupid Guest Tricks

felinefan wrote:I don't know what your definition of "close" is, Zazu, but it's 395 miles from Santa Rosa to Anaheim. If you can manage to maintain a constant speed of 55 mph on I-5 the whole way down, it'll only take you about 7 hours or so. Of course, doing that is something of a miracle these days, given that there is traffic even in the middle of the night. It wasn't that long ago that you could be out driving on the freeway at 11 p.m. or later and you'd be about the only car on the road. Now you can be in a Sigalert at 2 in the morning if your luck is incredibly bad. Seriously.

Perhaps you fail to recall that I was born and bred in that briar patch. I learned to drive on the mean streets of L.A. where you turned on KFWB (or in my day, XTRA), before you started the engine; where you signaled for a lane change by jacking a round into your piece; and where emergency sirens are viewed as mere suggestions. I *really* learned to drive on the Sheriff's Academy pursuit course in Elysian Park. (If you've never learned how to drive sideways, I recommend it.) I lived in that town the day they declared that the morning rush and the evening rush had closed the gap ... in the middle of the night. And I drove from San Francisco to Los Angeles the very first day that the 55mph speed limit went into effect -- down I-5. Trust me, I *know* my California traffic!

Plus 395 miles *is* close enough to serve as adequate excuse, at least in my book.

Zazu wrote:Perhaps you fail to recall that I was born and bred in that briar patch. I learned to drive on the mean streets of L.A. where you turned on KFWB (or in my day, XTRA), before you started the engine; where you signaled for a lane change by jacking a round into your piece; and where emergency sirens are viewed as mere suggestions. I *really* learned to drive on the Sheriff's Academy pursuit course in Elysian Park. (If you've never learned how to drive sideways, I recommend it.) I lived in that town the day they declared that the morning rush and the evening rush had closed the gap ... in the middle of the night. And I drove from San Francisco to Los Angeles the very first day that the 55mph speed limit went into effect -- down I-5. Trust me, I *know* my California traffic!

Plus 395 miles *is* close enough to serve as adequate excuse, at least in my book.

Sounds like Zazu is telling one of his stories about the good old days. :D:

Sorry Zazu, I didn't mean to question your knowledge of the Golden State. I can remember when California and Florida were rivals for both the title of the Sunshine State and the center of the citrus industry. Florida won both. I remember in the pre-show for America the Beautiful, the hostess would point to flags and ask us to name them, or find a flag from a particular state. Once she called Florida "our rival Sunshine State".

Driving sideways, eh? I seem to remember an old Bill Cosby monologue, I think it was "$80 Car', where he mentions driving sideways:

He first relates about driving down a frozen Pennsylvania road, and going into a skid: "I tried to remember what the driver's manual said about what to do if you go into a skid. It said, 'If you go into a skid, turn in the direction of the skid.' Which makes no sense to me at all--it's like if someone throws a left hook at you, you lean into it. Forget it, I'm skidding right, I'm going left and hitting the brake! WHACK! Next thing I know, I'm going down the road, 50 miles an hour, sideways! Which is a very interesting sight, you don't have to steer, you just look around. And then I hit a tree! WHAM! And I'm trying to move the car but I can't move it, it goes whuh-whuh-whuh and I didn't know it at the time, but I couldn't move it because the A-frame had fallen out. Well, I didn't know what an A-frame was until I took it to the mechanic and he said 'Hey, your A-frame's falling out! Cost ya a million dollars! And that's the labor!" Anyway, I'm trying to move the car, and I'm getting scared that the cops are gonna get me because in my glove compartment I've got 12 old moving violations which are like savings bonds; the longer you keep them the greater they mature!"..... etc., etc. .

Zazu wrote:Perhaps you fail to recall that I was born and bred in that briar patch. I learned to drive on the mean streets of L.A. where you turned on KFWB (or in my day, XTRA), before you started the engine; where you signaled for a lane change by jacking a round into your piece; and where emergency sirens are viewed as mere suggestions. I *really* learned to drive on the Sheriff's Academy pursuit course in Elysian Park. (If you've never learned how to drive sideways, I recommend it.) I lived in that town the day they declared that the morning rush and the evening rush had closed the gap ... in the middle of the night. And I drove from San Francisco to Los Angeles the very first day that the 55mph speed limit went into effect -- down I-5. Trust me, I *know* my California traffic!

Plus 395 miles *is* close enough to serve as adequate excuse, at least in my book.

There are no trains in that direction?

Zazu wrote:Ack! You're right, of course. Ample evidence that I need to make a refresher trip to the Motherpark.

Hmm, I have a meeting in Santa Rosa, on 22 August, and since that town's in California, it's certainly close enough to DLR to justify a visit, right?

Anybody going to be in town then? Any particular reason I visit either before or after the meeting?

My data on Disneyland is somewhat dated. I'm delighted to hear they can bypass some of the attractions now.

Wow Zazu that is the third mistake in less than three months. Wallaby, myself then Lady all found a mistake. As for DLR you need to come down and see all the changes. like wow and I will be here. Come see what all the commotion is about.

The best time to get through LA is between 11 AM and 1:30 PM. Everybody is at lunch.

hobie16 wrote:The best time to get through LA is between 11 AM and 1:30 PM. Everybody is at lunch.

Good information, I may need the keep that in mind on my road trips down there this year.

Zazu wrote:...Hmm, I have a meeting in Santa Rosa, on 22 August, and since that town's in California, it's certainly close enough to DLR to justify a visit, right?

Anybody going to be in town then? Any particular reason I visit either before or after the meeting?

How about maybe arrive about, oh, 7-1/2 weeks before and watch me compete??? You can justify that, right? :D:

Zazu wrote:Plus 395 miles *is* close enough to serve as adequate excuse, at least in my book.

GRUMPY PIRATE wrote:There are no trains in that direction?

There are, but there is no longer train service between Florida and California except via Washington DC. Last time there was, the train arrived only two hours late, but 400 miles short.

"Hello, Hertz? Instead of Los Angeles, can I pick up the car in Tucson?"

"Oh, so you're traveling Amtrak then."

Plus the first leg of the train trip south from Santa Rosa is a 3 hour bus trip.

No, after comparing prices for train, air, and car, I've decided to rent a car and drive out. I plan to visit members of the organization I run along the way, stopping for a meal in any town with more than zero members willing to meet. In this way, I can not only write off the rental car, I can write off the hotels and meals as well.

I did mention that SWMBO is a bookkeeper, right?

And FelineFan? No offense taken. I'm much harder to offend than that. Seven years in MK attractions gives one thick skin ... or a criminal record.

Zazu wrote: ... or a criminal record.

Not if you know where to hide the bodies. :twisted: