Stupid Guest Tricks

Thanks to all of you. I love the people here. You all are my "online family," and I appreciate all of the prayers, warm thoughts, and cyber-hugs. :)

But this being SGT, I have to share a stupid cemetery trick... My grandmother lived most of her life in southeast Texas, but was staying with my parents up here in the Dallas area for the past couple of years. Being almost 98, there weren't many of her contemporaries still living, so we planned just a simple graveside service for Monday afternoon. We got the okay from the funeral home, arranged a minister, and passed the word around to family and friends, many of whom are scattered around the country.

On Sunday afternoon we drove the 5+ hours down to the coast, when my mom received a message from the funeral home. Long story short, the cemetery (unknown to any of us since it wasn't spelled out in any of the prearrangement paperwork) can't/won't prepare the gravesite unless they have some papers signed at least 24 hours in advance of the service. It being Sunday evening when we arrived in the area, it was too late to sign for the grave to be ready for the 2:00 service Monday afternoon. And without the grave being ready, the casket would not be sent!

We ended up holding the service anyway, since so many people were gathering then -- and the cemetery thankfully still set up chairs and a tent. It was a beautiful service, with lots of family and friends. It had beautiful music, wonderful words of tribute, gorgeous flowers, and lots of love. The only thing it didn't have... was my grandmother!

We were a little steamed about the snafu, yes, but we also could laugh about it. My grandmother was never one to put on airs, and really could have cared less about ceremonies and formalities, so we were all in agreement that it was right in character for her not to show up for her own funeral! :) We're pretty sure that she was having a good laugh about it all in heaven.

Close family ended up gathering again on Tuesday morning around the casket for a brief time of prayer, so in the end it all worked out.

Thanks again for all your kind words.

BRWombat wrote:Thanks to all of you. I love the people here. You all are my "online family," and I appreciate all of the prayers, warm thoughts, and cyber-hugs. :)

But this being SGT, I have to share a stupid cemetery trick... My grandmother lived most of her life in southeast Texas, but was staying with my parents up here in the Dallas area for the past couple of years. Being almost 98, there weren't many of her contemporaries still living, so we planned just a simple graveside service for Monday afternoon. We got the okay from the funeral home, arranged a minister, and passed the word around to family and friends, many of whom are scattered around the country.

On Sunday afternoon we drove the 5+ hours down to the coast, when my mom received a message from the funeral home. Long story short, the cemetery (unknown to any of us since it wasn't spelled out in any of the prearrangement paperwork) can't/won't prepare the gravesite unless they have some papers signed at least 24 hours in advance of the service. It being Sunday evening when we arrived in the area, it was too late to sign for the grave to be ready for the 2:00 service Monday afternoon. And without the grave being ready, the casket would not be sent!

We ended up holding the service anyway, since so many people were gathering then -- and the cemetery thankfully still set up chairs and a tent. It was a beautiful service, with lots of family and friends. It had beautiful music, wonderful words of tribute, gorgeous flowers, and lots of love. The only thing it didn't have... was my grandmother!

We were a little steamed about the snafu, yes, but we also could laugh about it. My grandmother was never one to put on airs, and really could have cared less about ceremonies and formalities, so we were all in agreement that it was right in character for her not to show up for her own funeral! :) We're pretty sure that she was having a good laugh about it all in heaven.

Close family ended up gathering again on Tuesday morning around the casket for a brief time of prayer, so in the end it all worked out.

Thanks again for all your kind words.

Sounds like a true celebration of her life!

Sorry to hear about your grandmother.

You reminded me of my grandmother when she passed... ten years ago. We knew it was coming, so we were able to deal with it before it happened. We developed a deep sense of the gallows humor. One of the things that got us through it was a news story that came out at the time, about a man who was sitting on his couch with his pistol sitting, for whatever reason, on the coffee table in front of him. His dog jumped up on his coffee table, got his paw caught in the trigger, and shot the guy, who died from his injuries. Not funny, really, but for us it was hilarious trying to figure out how horrible it must have been for the cop going to the guy's mother's house to tell her and try to keep a straight face.

Big Wallaby wrote:You reminded me of my grandmother when she passed... ten years ago. We knew it was coming, so we were able to deal with it before it happened. We developed a deep sense of the gallows humor. One of the things that got us through it was a news story that came out at the time, about a man who was sitting on his couch with his pistol sitting, for whatever reason, on the coffee table in front of him. His dog jumped up on his coffee table, got his paw caught in the trigger, and shot the guy, who died from his injuries. Not funny, really, but for us it was hilarious trying to figure out how horrible it must have been for the cop going to the guy's mother's house to tell her and try to keep a straight face.

My family handled my grandfather's death in the same way. He was cremated and when my mom, two aunts, and uncle went to pick him up the urn was still warm. My father called to check in on my mother only to find that they were screaming with laughter, talking about needing oven mitts to hold onto my grandfather. Now that is a way to handle grief!

We always teased my Grandmother about having a rain cloud over her head. No matter where she traveled, no matter what time of year, she had some kind of disaster occur. In Hawaii a volcano erupted, in Turkey, war broke out, there were hurricanes in the Pacific, earthquakes, floods, you name it. So when she passed away (we knew she was ready to go) when does she decide to do it? Right in the middle of Hurricane Charley! And Ivan! And Joanne! and all those other hurricanes that came through Central Florida. She lived in South Dakota and her only living relatives were either out of the country or in the middle of a hurricane bowling alley. So, we had her cremated and MAILED her to her final resting place. We figure she'd have thought that was hilarious.

Theme Park Where wrote:We always teased my Grandmother about having a rain cloud over her head. No matter where she traveled, no matter what time of year, she had some kind of disaster occur. In Hawaii a volcano erupted, in Turkey, war broke out, there were hurricanes in the Pacific, earthquakes, floods, you name it. So when she passed away (we knew she was ready to go) when does she decide to do it? Right in the middle of Hurricane Charley! And Ivan! And Joanne! and all those other hurricanes that came through Central Florida. She lived in South Dakota and her only living relatives were either out of the country or in the middle of a hurricane bowling alley. So, we had her cremated and MAILED her to her final resting place. We figure she'd have thought that was hilarious.

That is funny!

I'm blessed with a family that enjoys being together, no matter what the occasion. And with our shared sense of humor, it doesn't take much to get us laughing. In fact, the first time I ever rode in the funeral home sedan for immediate family members, the one that follows the hearse, was for the death of my oldest brother, Scott. My dad was a little quieter than usual, but the rest of us were rolling in laughter from the funeral home to the cemetary.

It was not at all how I expected it to be, but it was very much in character for our family. I'm sure the driver thought we were insane, but Scott would have approved!

At least your families could agree on where to bury Grandma!

When my beloved grandma died, my uncle didn't know what to do with her ashes. He was completely clueless and talked about putting her into the ocean. I threw a livid fit.

My grandfather is buried 20 minutes from my house- and she was faithful to him and loved him through 24 years of widow-hood. I offered to pay the 500 dollars to bury her with my grandfather and spoke to everyone at the cemetary. Well, everybody thought it was a great idea except due to fueding over the way one half of the family had (mis) handled grandma's care the last days of her life, my mother wouldn't sign to give permission to 'disturb' my grandfather's grave!

I know that my grandmother's ashes sat in a box at my uncles for more than a year. finally, the family got my sister (who i found out had power of attorney all along for my mother- who knew) to sign the form and they buried her with grandpa.

Without telling me. . . I found out later.

I did think, that my grandmother would have been amused by the fact that she was likely UPS'd or Fed-Exed to her final resting place.

She had a great sense of humor. . .but I still wish my family could have pulled together and dealt with the situation at the beginning, properly. . .
but then that would require that they were normal.

All our prayers go out for everyone in need, MJ is a great little prayer warrior. :)

May as well join in with my story.

As I may have mentioned, I got a new day job about a year ago. I'm the second director of a 50-year-old organization. The job came open only because the founding director passed away. In the process of evacuating the old headquarters in Daggett, California, some things got put in the wrong boxes. The founder's nephew, who had lived there with him, got some of the records put in his storage locker.

We got the former director.

We're presently holding his ashes "hostage" in our video cabinet until the nephew returns the records, but I'm not sure he wants his uncle's ashes badly enough to pay the shipping.

Boy howdy, just when you think "skeleton in the closet" is just a turn of phrase.....