Stupid Guest Tricks

mechurchlady wrote:Since when did SGT become a no-hug zone?
I will hugs whom I like and when I like except for times when spouse do not approve of such activity.

I gave hugs to Cranbiz because I was rewarding his heroic stance again bitches and potty mouthed people.

:hug:

ktulu wrote:Hey, another local! Wombat will be around to sing 'The Yellow Rose of Texas', 'Texas, our Texas' and 'Deep in the heart of Texas'.

Can I join in since I was a temporary Texan. YEEEEE HHHAAAAA!

Cranbiz wrote:Like my spiel,

"If you are unable to hold onto the handrails, you are free to hold on to your siginificant other, or a total stranger. If you opt to hold onto your siginificant other, please remember.... There are children on board."

I stole part of your spiel, since I so much liked it. Since you are all dying to know what I say, here is a script. Please note, this is a spoiler, so I am putting it in a color that you will need to highlight it in order to be able to read what I post with any sense of ease. All stolen material is in italics. All notes for the reader are in my beloved parenthesis.

Hello, everyone, and welcome aboard the Walt Disney World Transportation System. We're on our way to ______RESORT/PARK_____, (JUST LIKE THE MiMs) and we'll be arriving there shortly.. That is, of course, as long as we don't get lost... in the woods. (MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

For your safety, please remain seated at all times. If you're standing... Tough. (Stolen from another driver, Greg, who stole it from others. THIS IS MY FIRST TEST TO SEE HOW PEOPLE RESPOND TO MY JOKES. IF THEY RESPOND WELL, I WILL CONTINUE WITH FUN FACTS, TRIVIA, ETC.) Hold onto the hand rails overhead or to the side. If you cannot reach the handrails, then hold on to someone who is holding onto the handrails, or find a willing lap. Please note, if you choose either of these two options, then please be sure you introduce yourself first. This could be the beginning of a lifelong relationship. (Stolen from Cranbiz)

Finally, I ask that you refrain from eating, drinking or smoking on the bus. If I find you eating or drinking, I will force you to share with everyone on the bus. If I find you smoking, I will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action to put... you... out. (Southwest Airlines, WITH AN EMPHASIS ON THE FINAL "T" IN OUT)

So now, sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. We'll be arriving shortly at _____RESORT/PARK_____. That is of course... assuming we don't get lost... in the woods. MANIACAL LAUGHTER

If you want to read the closing spiel I have that that I can post too. It's completely stolen, so you will have heard everything before.

LOL...love it and of course we want to hear the other one. Now I know what to listen for.

mechurchlady wrote:A lot of SGs do not realize that they are ruining the vacation for others and that little kids do not need to hear about sex, illegal activities, immoral lifestyles and cussing. Hugs to Cranbiz.

Heh. I made my husband and out friend stop saying "boobs" in Disneyland. It helped that I issued the smackdown right before my kid called the friend "Boobs".

I *hate* double wide strollers. I think they are the world's rudest thing to take into the park. A front/back tandem does not block the entire walkway the way a double wide does.

Big Wallaby wrote:If you want to read the closing spiel I have that that I can post too. It's completely stolen

Big W, please post. I love stolen stuff! :momtheres

Come on September! Between this, reading my book on Walt Disney and the guide book I seem to buy before each trip that I really don't need but buy anyway, I'm soooo ready for this vacation.

Post more!

Do it!

Now!

Please!

Okay, fine, we'll pay you. Wombat, you're the big, high priced, fancy pants attorney ;) Pay him!

Big Wallaby wrote:I stole part of your spiel, since I so much liked it.

Not a problem, I have no problems sharing my material. In fact, I have stolen a lot of it myself.

ktulu wrote:Come on September! Between this, reading my book on Walt Disney and the guide book I seem to buy before each trip that I really don't need but buy anyway, I'm soooo ready for this vacation.

Post more!

Do it!

Now!

Please!

Okay, fine, we'll pay you. Wombat, you're the big, high priced, fancy pants attorney ]Hey, I work for a city guvmint, I ain't made o' $$$.

ktulu wrote: Hey, another local! Wombat will be around to sing 'The Yellow Rose of Texas', 'Texas, our Texas' and 'Deep in the heart of Texas'.

Keep in mind that although I am a native Texan, I grew up in Colorado & still have to fake my way through those songs when they're being sung.