Please pass the salt?!?

[uvsc_wolverine]

I don't work at an amusement park (never have), but I do have two funny "customer not believing me" stories to share.

I worked at KFC for three years starting in my junior year of high school. After just over a year I was assigned to the drive-thru window on a more or less permanent basis - understanding what people say when you're working drive-thru is an art; I remember the first time I put on a drive-thru headset and listened to the other employee taking orders and I couldn't believe that he could understand what was being said.

So, for some reason the dumb people have a tendency to come through the drive-thru as opposed to coming inside. After my second year at KFC I was an assistant manager so I knew all the procedures and whatnot inside and out. I still remember one night when this woman rattles off a long order and ends it with requests for several shakes. There are no shakes on the menu. I informed the woman that we don't have them and the following conversation ensued:
"You don't have shakes?"
"No, ma'am, I'm sorry. We don't have shakes."
"You don't have shakes?"
"No, we don't."
"You don't have shakes?"
"No."
Yes, she asked me three times. I guess maybe she thought that my answer would eventually change?

The other fun one was a guy that ordered a hamburger. Now, I can understand some confusion on this point because there are a fair number of combined KFC/A&W stores that have all of the KFC products plus a lot of the fare you'd find at a burger joint. However, this KFC was chicken only. The guy insisted that he had bought a hamburger from us the week before and I eventually had to inform him that I had been working there for two years and I knew for a fact that we have never sold hamburgers. He then asked to speak to the manager. My response was, "You already are." He mumbled something about McDonald's and left.

[CerasiJ]

The guy insisted that he had bought a hamburger from us the week before and I eventually had to inform him that I had been working there for two years and I knew for a fact that we have never sold hamburgers. He then asked to speak to the manager. My response was, "You already are." He mumbled something about McDonald's and left.

Isn't that amazing? I had one like that the other week! At the law firm I work at, there's this old man who always manages to dial the wrong phone number and get us. This guy is always looking to talk to the V.A. (Vet's Admin?) And everytime I have to tell him, this is a law firm, not the V.A.

The other day this dude calls up and it went something like this:

Me: Good morning, *insert law firm here*.
Old guy: Yeah, hi, is this the V.A. clinic?

[Um, hello, did you not hear me announce the name of the firm when I answered the phone?]

Me: No... this is a law firm.
Old guy: [Totally ignoring me] I need to speak to a doctor, please.
Me: Umm... sorry, we have no doctors here, only lawyers.
Old guy: Lawyers? I don't need a lawyer! I NEED A DOCTOR, LADY, I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!
Me: (thinking) WTF??? (saying) Well, sir, maybe you should hang up the phone and call 9-1-1!!
Old guy: I NEED THE V.A. CLINIC!

This went on for a good two minutes, this guy kept insisting he was having a heart attack, I kept insisting he dial 911! Finally he just hung up on me!

[PirateJohn]

Does the V.A. treat chronic stupidity?

[CerasiJ]

Does the V.A. treat chronic stupidity?

No, that's why they gave him our phone number.

[SRT_GB]

Old guy: Lawyers? I don't need a lawyer! I NEED A DOCTOR, LADY, I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!
Me: (thinking) WTF??? (saying) Well, sir, maybe you should hang up the phone and call 9-1-1!!
Old guy: I NEED THE V.A. CLINIC!

This went on for a good two minutes, this guy kept insisting he was having a heart attack, I kept insisting he dial 911! Finally he just hung up on me!

I know that many hospitals and doctors' offices, especially big ones, with an automated phone answering service begin by saying something to the effect of, "If this is a medical emergency, hang up immediately and dial 911." So even if he had gotten the right number for the VA clinic, he might have ended up having to call 911 anyways.