Stupid Guest Tricks

DisneyMom wrote:Hey Hobie!
I met someone who said he was from (I think) your neighborhood....
Said his name was Mikey but his nickname is "Burper".....
Sound like anyone you know? ;)

I don't know anyone nicknamed Burper but I sail with Thumper. He's a great foredeck guy.

Have any submarine drivers ever been to this school?

Everythings better with bacon. Even SGT.com...Look! :D:

SGT.com: Now with Bacon

Mmmm, Applewood smoked bacon from Trader Joes!!!!!!


and RUM!!!!!

techie-13 wrote:Everythings better with bacon. Even SGT.com...Look! :D:

SGT.com: Now with Bacon

That is the stupidest -- and funniest -- thing I've seen on the internet in some time. Thanks for the laugh!

techie-13 wrote:Everythings better with bacon. Even SGT.com...Look! :D:

SGT.com: Now with Bacon

I find this helpful when my family can't quite understand the site I'm on...

SGT, Redneck-version!

http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/dialec ... tricks.com

BRWombat wrote:That is the stupidest -- and funniest -- thing I've seen on the internet in some time. Thanks for the laugh!

You're welcome!

Here's the site http://bacolicio.us/ and you just add the URL of the website you wish to add bacon to.

Laughing baby.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXXm696UbKY

I am sick from something that did agree with me, sigh. Next time I will read the expiratio date on the orange juice. I got to watch out for my typos as they get me into so much trouble. So what is new with me?

Calvin called as I was microwaving dinner which was rosemary chicken from Whole Foods Store, harvest vegetable medley from that store, left over canned peas, and butter topped cornbread with strawberry jelly. Plus mom's coffee so I was running back and forth to the microwave rotating things in and out.

Calvin calls and needs money for rent so I say come over at 7. Mom had a major meltdown and finally Calvin showed up around 8. The following occured with mom.

Mom: you write him a check as it is not safe to go to the back at night.
Me: I am short on checks and it is a pain to get more
Mom: I have checks (which she finds and gives to me)
Me: Calvin when do you need the money?
Calvin: Tomorrow
Me: Mom if I give him a check he cannot cash it tomorrow.
Mom : It is not safe to go out at night
Thence we went over how the bank is closed and he would not get the money until Friday. I rode in Calvin's truck to the bank then to the market.

Calvin is so grateful that last night he did the dishes and now is working on the plumbing. I gave him $80 in groceries and cleaned out the pantry and freeze so that he took a lot ore groceries. I wil hide here until he comes knocking but the plumbing will in theory get done.

Whta is sad is that my mom was not going to help him out after all he has done for me and her. He got the ramp put in and the house painted on installments. Fixed a light and other stuff. I sat on New Years eve in self pity and lonely but now I hear the banging, the wet floor, and the thudding of his feet on the roof. I do have a friend and why do I always forget about him when the darkness comes. He is a pain but still he cares.

I found this story on another site.

Dog Pillow

The other night I couldn't get to sleep. The problem was that I was sharing the bed with a wife, two cats, and a dog. The only position left for me would have looked like the chalk outline at a murder scene. I decided that one of the mammals needed to be moved. I was groggy from sleep deprivation, but even in that debilitated state I knew the wrong answers were (in this orders): wife, cat 1, cat 2. A good night of sleep isn't worth a bite wound.

I figured moving the dog was my best chance of not regretting this plan. She's a 12-pound toy Australian Shepherd and always in a good mood. When she's sleepy you can mold her into any position you like, Gumby-style. My idea was to bring her up toward my chest, with her back to my stomach, spoon position. Then I could turn sideways, insert my special small knee pillow between my legs and be good to go.

It was totally dark so I was operating by touch. I reached down and pulled little Snickers up to my chest, adjusted my blankets and pillows, and started settling in for a luxurious snooze. I love it when a plan comes together like that.
Few things are more soothing than sleeping with a warm puppy. I decided to use the dog as sort of a little pillow for my snout. It felt wonderful to snuggle my nose in between her ear and her neck area. She was totally unconscious so she took any position I assigned. It was great, but perhaps one more adjustment would make it perfect. I decided to put one arm around her and slip my hand under her head, just to get extra comfy. But there was just one problem.

HER HEAD WAS MISSING!

I was panicked, feeling around in the dark for where she must have contorted her head to make it so far from where I knew it had to be. I slipped my hand under my pillow and felt around, nothing. I checked to see if I was accidentally lying on her head: negative. Her head just wasn't there. In my half-asleep state, I worried that a horrible accident had happened during the night, possibly involving a circular saw. I realize that sounds unlikely to you, but keep in mind that my own snoring doesn't wake me, and I did have a headless dog.

I'm sure many of you readers are ahead of me on this story. Eventually I realized her head was on the other side of her body, exactly where it belonged. I had been snuggling my face into my dog's ass.

So that's how my 2009 started. I'm really hoping it isn't some sort of omen.