I had a weird lady at my door today.

She was nicely dressed but didnt seem very bright. When I opened the door she was babbling something about who owned the shed out back. UMMMM...there is no shed out there. The conversation went something like this....
HER; asking about who owns the yard
me; HUH????
her; do you own the yard over there?
me; what do you want (already suspicious of her)
her; do you own the barrel out back
me; totally confused

what barrel? (the invisible one I suppose)
her; the barrel over there
me; do you mean the garbage cans?
her; no the wheel barrel
me; oh, you mean the wheel
barrow (i hate when ppl call it a barrel--you are already annoying me lady, the bad pronounciation ain't helping)
me; it's my landlord's ....why?
her; oh, i want to buy it for parts
me; WHAT? ( now mind you, the only time you can see the thing is when Donnie is not parked in the lot and the lot itself is private for a business in the back and the wheel barrow was leaning on the tree in my back yard about 30 yards from the street-this is important)
her; do you think the landlord would sell it to me?
me; ummmm....I dont think so
her; oh, I really wanted to buy it
me; sorry
her; the lady over there said you weren't home
me; what lady
her; the one in that house (points at my neighbors house--this is important later, remember it)
h
er; (leaving down my front steps) still asking about the barrel
me; you know if you want an older one you might try driving by some of the Amish farms (about a 15 minute drive)
her; OH NO! THAT IS TOO FAR. I live here in town and I want one from here
me; *snort...you arent going to find something like that around here. You would do better to go to the hardware store and buy one (the "barrel" in question is a bit old and needs cleaned up but it is still in great working condition and does the job intended)
her; are you sure your landlords wont sell it (like I am going to call my landlords on Labor day and say HEY, wanna sell the wheelbarrow? :rolleyes :)
me; I doubt it and besides it isnt probably worth much (knowing my landlords they would probably want a pretty penny for it)
me; besides I am not bothering my landlords since i try to avoid them when possible
her; (AND HERE IS THE FUN PART) Do you know what your landlords name and address are (while opening her purse presumably pulling out a pen and paper)
me: (IN MY BEST "HERE"S YOUR SIGN VOICE") NOPE, I have no idea who they are, I just toss some money out on the porch once a month and someone comes and gets it.
her; you dont know who your landlord is
me; havent the foggiest, I just kinda squat here. (squat as in live here not the other one...sickos:p :)
me; I am really busy and dont have time for this
her; (pissed off and stomping away)
NOW for the important parts (see next post