GET MORE CHICKS, FIND OUT HOW!
Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2004 2:02 pm
Time for sordid story number 2.
We used to have a system for meeting up with girls. It worked like a charm and was the source for many good times for the 5 years I worked at D-Land. DISCLAIMER: YES I KNOW WE WERE PIGS. WE WERE 19 AND HORNY. KARMA KICKED MY ASS LATER, DON'T WORRY.
Here is how it worked:
Let's say you are off at 5pm today, it's summertime and the clothes are skimpy.
There were three variables involved
--Hottie Factor
--Time to Meet
--Location of Meet
When you met a girl (sorry, if you can't meet girls on your own this system is not for you!) you think you want to hook up with, you grade her on the classic 1-10 scale. The higher she ranks on the hottie factor, the earlier meet time she gets and the closer to Harbor House.
So let's say you meet a 7, she seems interested but has to hang out with her underage sister. You set up a meet time of 6pm at the Kennels.
You meet a 5. She seems nice and your friends are telling you "she's in your league". You tell them to go to hell, that you are a pimp master with more game than that. You secretly ask her to meet you at the far end of the ticket booths at 630pm.
You meet a 9 and she's already drunk at 1pm. She tells you that she broke up with her boyfriend and she and her girlfriend are in the mood to cut loose. Also, she likes puppies and gymnastics. She gets a meet time of 5:01pm at Harbor House and you do your best to ER 30 minutes early so you are already waiting for her.
So your hope is that the 9 shows up. If she does, awesome, time to head over to Acapulco's then your apartment! She uses you like a pommel horse and you wake up in the morning with chalk on your nipples.
If she no shows, you move on to the kennels. You spend the day back in the park, taking her little sister on rides. You make out with the big sister on Mansion, Pirates, Peoplemover and the Teacups (hey, you get it where you can). The next morning, co-workers as you why you were hanging out with your cousins in the park. Surprisingly, they don't make mention of the fact you were making out. You shudder.
If the 7 no shows, you meet the 5. You stay in toontown where you don't know anyone. After making out on the jolly trolley for what seems like hours, she asks you when you are going back to your apartment. The next morning you wake up, go brush your teeth and find the polaroids your roommate snapped of you and your "date" spooning. You vow to piss on his toothbrush.
I hope you enjoyed this technique for maximizing your hookup potential with guests. Please go out there and use the Jedi Force young Padawans.
OBI WEEBLE KANOBLE
We used to have a system for meeting up with girls. It worked like a charm and was the source for many good times for the 5 years I worked at D-Land. DISCLAIMER: YES I KNOW WE WERE PIGS. WE WERE 19 AND HORNY. KARMA KICKED MY ASS LATER, DON'T WORRY.
Here is how it worked:
Let's say you are off at 5pm today, it's summertime and the clothes are skimpy.
There were three variables involved
--Hottie Factor
--Time to Meet
--Location of Meet
When you met a girl (sorry, if you can't meet girls on your own this system is not for you!) you think you want to hook up with, you grade her on the classic 1-10 scale. The higher she ranks on the hottie factor, the earlier meet time she gets and the closer to Harbor House.
So let's say you meet a 7, she seems interested but has to hang out with her underage sister. You set up a meet time of 6pm at the Kennels.
You meet a 5. She seems nice and your friends are telling you "she's in your league". You tell them to go to hell, that you are a pimp master with more game than that. You secretly ask her to meet you at the far end of the ticket booths at 630pm.
You meet a 9 and she's already drunk at 1pm. She tells you that she broke up with her boyfriend and she and her girlfriend are in the mood to cut loose. Also, she likes puppies and gymnastics. She gets a meet time of 5:01pm at Harbor House and you do your best to ER 30 minutes early so you are already waiting for her.
So your hope is that the 9 shows up. If she does, awesome, time to head over to Acapulco's then your apartment! She uses you like a pommel horse and you wake up in the morning with chalk on your nipples.
If she no shows, you move on to the kennels. You spend the day back in the park, taking her little sister on rides. You make out with the big sister on Mansion, Pirates, Peoplemover and the Teacups (hey, you get it where you can). The next morning, co-workers as you why you were hanging out with your cousins in the park. Surprisingly, they don't make mention of the fact you were making out. You shudder.
If the 7 no shows, you meet the 5. You stay in toontown where you don't know anyone. After making out on the jolly trolley for what seems like hours, she asks you when you are going back to your apartment. The next morning you wake up, go brush your teeth and find the polaroids your roommate snapped of you and your "date" spooning. You vow to piss on his toothbrush.
I hope you enjoyed this technique for maximizing your hookup potential with guests. Please go out there and use the Jedi Force young Padawans.
OBI WEEBLE KANOBLE
