Stupid Guest Tricks

OK,I learned this little bit online after my Ex died.....
If someone dies intestate (without a will) in California and the value of their "Estate" is worth less than $100,000 (which I'm assuming is the case here), there only needs to be an affadavit filed with the court system stating that all property of value will be divided up EQUALLY among the surviving heirs (unless they decline their portion of the estate).
That includes you. If the estate is worth more than $100,000, then the estate needs to go into probate. If for some reason the law wasn't followed, I'm assuming the person who distributed things illegally would be in some sort of trouble. There are some probate lawyers online who would give you some advice gratis-check out some of the question and answer websites. One of them confirmed to me how I should handle ex-husband's property. I know this isn't your main concern right now, but maybe just to settle the matter of if you have something else you should be getting to help you out.
Hopefully she has done things correctly, it would be a little embarassing if she didn't, working for a lawyer and all ;)
I like that you are working on succeeding through this difficult time! :)

Correction- The Affidavit doesn't need to be filed, but DOES need to be signed by all of the heirs in order to distribute property (such as her car). Life insurance money doesn't seem to be part of this somehow, looks like it should go to whoever designated to-did your sister give you a copy of the policy? If you want, I'll PM you a link with some basic info on a 13100 Affidavit.

No, no affidavit, nothing--just one of those cases where mom wrote who would get the major stuff--my brother got her laptop, my youngest sister got her car, the family heirlooms went to the two sisters who had kids to pass them down to, the rest went to whoever wanted it or it was either tossed or given to charity. It was on a piece of paper--Post-It note without glue.

Thing is, my sister said that if I got my driver's license, she could sign mom's car over to me. I was doing that blood pressure study, and found a driving school that was reasonably priced and well regarded. My fee for participating in the study would cover the driving lessons. I had three appointments to go, then two weeks after that I would be paid. Mom died before I got my money, and my youngest sister said she bought mom's car from her--funny how I never heard of that before. Oh, well, with no job, I had no way to support it, anyhow.

Look, my two younger sisters were allowed to get away with everything. If they want to lie and cheat, that's their problem. I've lived long enough to know that eventually things will come out, one way or the other. Even if they tell their kids, my nieces and nephews, not to name their kids after me, even as a middle name or derivative form of my name--extreme I know, but I wouldn't put it past them--sooner or later a situation will arise, where the whole scheme will be revealed and it will be quite awkward for those involved. I mean, let's say one of my nieces gets married and has a daughter. Her in-laws suggest my name, whether they know my story or not. My niece rejects it, saying that's a name not to be used. The in-laws try to negotiate, but no go. Say five-ten years go by; my grandniece is visiting her grandmother who wanted to give her my name, and the grandma tells her, "You know, when you were born, I wanted to name you------, but your mom and other grandma wouldn't let me." "Why, grandma?" "Well, it seems there's a great-aunt of yours the rest of the family doesn't like for some reason, and her name can't be used." Later my grandniece goes online, checks into the family tree, and finds me. She contacts me and asks about the story. She might get punished for doing that, or she may wait until she's older and confront the family. Depending on how stubborn they are, I predict she will probably read the riot act to them over their stupidity. And either change her name to mine, or when she has her own daughter, name her after me. Okay, that's my imagination going for broke there, but any way you look at it, they're the ones hurting themselves. I say, let them.

Whether or not you care who got what- and believe me, I know the burden of getting something you DON'T (kids inherited Father's decrepit boat,I had to do all the paperwork yadayada to get rid of it) It certainly doesn't sound like things were done legally-probably why she was so pissed when you called her lawyer boss to ask about if a will was drawn up. Who knows what she told him and would rather he not know
I truly wonder if she gave you ALL of the insurance money she should have.
None of my business, of course, but I suppose you could call the company to inquire if you were concerned......
At any rate,I wish you good luck. :) Have lots of weirdos in my family, too!

Oh, yes, I did get all the insurance money--I have the receipt to prove it. It was $1000, out of which was taken $100 for taxes--so yes I got it all.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing--her boss asked about it, and she got mad--too close for comfort.

You know, it's really sad, she can be a great person if and when she wants to, but unfortunately I think since she's a "princess" type, she thinks she can get away with everything. I only remember two times she got yelled at, once when we were having dinner in a restaurant, and she left 3 French fries on her plate because she got full. Dad yelled at her, to the point that our waitress was embarrassed, as were we, because of that. Another time it was when she ran away from home, my parents called the cops, and they caught her in Costa Mesa (before there were buses; we lived in what was then El Toro), and the cops found her and brought her home. Other than that, she was treated like a little princess. She could charm anyone.

I was just thinking--there are a few first cousins on my mom's side of the family who have been diagnosed with various mental health issues. I wonder.... It was also said that asthma once ran in our family, again on mom's side, and it disappeared for a couple of generations; it's back now, with my youngest sister and both of my nephews, especially my oldest nephew, having asthma. I must be the lucky one in the family--my breathing is fine--of course, it also helps that I never smoked--and I am not crazy.

Still, whatever the cause, this is more than just sibling rivalry. No matter how well you think the family skeletons have been buried, they have a way of popping up when and where you least expect them.

After reading this all I can say is, WOW. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I really hope that you can find work and some peace.

Large hugs and sympathy.

Felinefan....

All I can say is that me and the wife have you in our thaughts and prayers... It sucks to go threw what you are going threw and I know from persoanl experiance that, yes, Karma does suck and is a bitch!


The Doctor

Yeah, so I'll just send my youngest niece the birthday card I got her before this happened, and a thank you note to my dad for the check, and see if next year I can still send birthday cards again. If they come back, I'll keep their birthdays on my calendar, but....

I've been thinking of past incidents, and I can't believe the sister who used to be my buddy when we were kids could grow up to be a little con artist. I still remember when my paternal grandma made me a quilt, and it had my favorite dress from when I was in kindergarten as part of the pattern. I grew up with everyone in the family knowing that was my quilt. But a few years ago, all of a sudden I was told that it wasn't my quilt, and that was not my dress in it. And mom backed her up on that. I'm just so sick of having things taken from me that are mine. Earlier this year, we had a young couple living here that stole food from me, as well as at least one other roommate. Now apparently someone is going through my cotton balls in the bathroom. I know that sounds like a little thing, but think about it.... it's really freaking me out.

Family drama can be traumatic. Hold your head up, Feline Fan, you can take care of yourself with God's help.

You will have to hide all your stuff and keep it in your bedroom. Some people are just not nice.

My bedroom isn't very big, and it's already got enough stuff. Last time, when I had the problem with that couple, I put notes not to use my stuff on the items, but they didn't work--of course they were a couple of cokeheads, so no wonder. One of my roomies is training to be a drug and alcohol counselor, and when I told him about this couple, he says yeah, the drugs make them self-centered so what they want is all that matters--they don't care about others. So I'm going to try putting a note on my bag of cotton balls, see if that helps. I think it might be the girlfriend of one of my roommates, and maybe she just doesn't know. That's happened too. Education stops that.