Things to teach your child...

[hobie16]

You forgot to add: and don't worry, that shot you are getting couldn't have a bent needle!!!!

A guy I worked with years ago had been a corpsman in the Navy. Dennis got busted for something and ended up in the brig for a short term. While there a Marine took particular pleasure in bouncing him off the walls.

A few months after returning to duty, the Marine came into the clinic for an annual physical. Dennis spotted him, got his medical record, and tore up his shots records.

The doctor, seeing there were no records, told the Marine he would need a full series of shots, told Dennis what to get and left. Dennis returned with a tray full of syringes and upended the tray on to a stainless steel table which bent a number of the needles.

The Marine protested but Dennis gave him the full series leaving the Marine's arms looking like hamburger.

As the Marine was leaving, he looked at Dennis and said, "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

Ya think?!?!

[Ms. Matterhorn]

Allow your child to cry and cry and cry until he vomits! (Been there, seen that, in a restaurant!)

[Ms. Matterhorn]

Stand with your child at the exit gate to Dumbo. When the guests are exiting, enter with your child and put him in the closest elephant. When there are not enough elephants for the next set of guests and the attractions hostess looks at YOU, standing right there by the exit, looking completely innocent. Stare her down. When the hostess questions you, yell at her and say you want to talk to her supervisor. Threaten bodily harm, too. (Yes, it happened to me!) :mad: :mad: :mad:

[mechurchlady]

FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY

Part 1
People love it when men and women flash. Moon the boat as it goes by on the bay. Walk out of the bathroom with your zipper down or unbuttoned. Make it more obvious by having toilet paper or your shirt sticking out of the fly. Ladies you know everyone wants to see your nipples in the photo they will be sharing with their dear 92 year-old granny. Class here is me on Splash Mountain and do not mind the naked lady in front of me. We love them shorts that show your cheeks and please remember that your are a 42 C which means men will LOVE it when you cram into a 40 B.

Part 2
Child nudity is great and please let your kids run naked all over the park.

Part 3
Please, take flash shots that reflect off of mirrors, television screens, and glass windows. Blinding people is fun so please do blind everyone in site. Do not forget to take a flash shot of your driver. Make sure you wait until he takes off to blind him.

[Ms. Matterhorn]

FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY

Part 1
People love it when men and women flash. Moon the boat as it goes by on the bay. Walk out of the bathroom with your zipper down or unbuttoned. Make it more obvious by having toilet paper or your shirt sticking out of the fly. Ladies you know everyone wants to see your nipples in the photo they will be sharing with their dear 92 year-old granny. Class here is me on Splash Mountain and do not mind the naked lady in front of me. We love them shorts that show your cheeks and please remember that your are a 42 C which means men will LOVE it when you cram into a 40 B.

Part 2
Child nudity is great and please let your kids run naked all over the park.

Part 3
Please, take flash shots that reflect off of mirrors, television screens, and glass windows. Blinding people is fun so please do blind everyone in site. Do not forget to take a flash shot of your driver. Make sure you wait until he takes off to blind him.

:hysteria: :hysteria: :hysteria:

[LittleDollClaudia]

Always make sure that if your child does get sick while at one of the parks to let them sneeze and cough over everything they can get their filthy hands on. Do not leave the park even if they have thrown up whatever they ate or drank so your vacation doesn't get ruined.

Also, make sure to let them run rampant in Fantasyland while you and your spouse go off to ride Space Mountain. Cast members have nothing else to do but to watch your darling offspring.

Speaking of cast members, they just love when parents use them as scapegoats so they get kicked in the shin by little Johnny when the CM says no to riding. (seen it happen)

I know I have more...

[TechieSidhe]

Good morning from annoyingly cold Tampa!

I read a few months ago in a place I cannot remember, heck, it could be a figment of my imagination, that this crap happens because people have lost the thought of shame and embarrasment. Nobody cares what other people think of them anymore, and while this can be a force for good, it's unfortunately been used for evil.

Coupled with the sense of entitlement that appears to have grown since the me generation of the 80s, mixed with a marked lack of consequences for bad deeds, it's a recipe for SGs.

(Your mileage may vary on the following) I was raised in a town where people knew me and my family even if I did not know them. My mom, grandma, and two aunts all worked in the school system I attended. Any, and I mean any, crap I tried to pull in school got to my family before I even got home. And there were consequences to what I did. So I was always used to minding my P's and Q's so I stayed out of trouble. And I guess it kept with me into adulthood. It forced me to use manners even when I didn't want to.

Of course, it also helped my manners training that I worked as a credit supervisor during Christmas for a major department store. I got called every name in the book in two languages.

My bank teller remembers me specifically because I'm so polite to her. That's sad when that's the exception, not the rule.

[Ms. Matterhorn]

I read a few months ago in a place I cannot remember, heck, it could be a figment of my imagination, that this crap happens because people have lost the thought of shame and embarrasment. Nobody cares what other people think of them anymore, and while this can be a force for good, it's unfortunately been used for evil.

That was on Dr. Laura's blog a few months ago. I posted it here, then I got reamed by SGT'ers who missed the whole point, and just ranted about how Dr. Laura hates gays. That was not my point. Not all of Dr. Laura's ideas are valid, but that one was. I MEAN THE ONE ABOUT PEOPLE HAVING NO SHAME, not the gay thing.

This was my post on 9/14/08:
Re: SGs and the writing on the wall
I'm not ashamed to admit that I listen to Dr. Laura Schlesinger nearly everyday and often agree with her. Read her blog on "shame". It's what should (or used to) prevent people from doing wrong things. People have no shame anymore.

http://www.drlaurablog.com/index.php?s=shame
__________________
Permanecer sentados, por favor.

[TechieSidhe]

Mrs. Matterhorn, then the credit goes to you! :p: My brain is so much jello these days....

While I am not a huge Dr. Laura fan, I do agree with her on the shame bit. I consider myself a social liberal, but...I do think that we have too much focus on the individual sometimes and not on society as a whole. There's just some stuff you don't do. I don't care what you do in the privacy of your home with your stuff. But once you're on someone else's property or on common grounds, you need to behave appropriately.

[Ms. Matterhorn]

There's a word in Spanish for "without shame": sinverguenza. It's a bad thing. It's somebody who's not embarrassed about their bad behavior, but should be. Like a crook, a tramp or a cheater.