Stupid Guest Tricks

BRWombat wrote:My sympathies and God bless all of you -- especially as you have to appear sunny and cheerful to guests who have no idea what you're dealing with.

Actually, that is the thing that helps. I find that I cannot appear to be cheerful without being cheerful. Therefore, I have to be, and I am. Besides, knowing Wilbert, he wouldn't want people moping about because he's gone.

My wife, parents and close friends are all on notice that when the day comes for my funeral, I don't want it to be a sad thing. I want it to be all but a rock concert. I know where I'm headed... for those who believe the same as I do, there's no need to weep for me, the loss is all yours. Grieve, but do not mourn me.

Big Wallaby wrote:...I want it to be all but a rock concert...

See, I want mine to be an ACTUAL rock concert. With all the bands I've been in, there should be enough musicians in attendance to pull together a group to play!

My grandmother's "funeral" was a party in her memory. A bunch of people (a couple hundred as I recall) all getting drunk, eating good food, and chatting about how great a person she was and how many lives she touched...and listening to good music too! Granted, that was the `80's so we didn't find out until later that the music actually sucked... :p:

Edited to add: The other type of funeral I'd be okay with is putting my body on a raft with a sword in my hands and setting it ablaze and pushing it out to sea. I think that's a viking funeral, but I really don't know. That wouldn't be for any reason except that it's probably one of the cheapest ways to have a funeral, and I don't want to be a financial burden to anybody after I'm dead. Making people spend money on you when you're not around to enjoy it is just ridiculous! (Swords are cool, though, so that's why I want them to get me one of those! :) )

Kwahati wrote:See, I want mine to be an ACTUAL rock concert. With all the bands I've been in, there should be enough musicians in attendance to pull together a group to play!

My grandmother's "funeral" was a party in her memory. A bunch of people (a couple hundred as I recall) all getting drunk, eating good food, and chatting about how great a person she was and how many lives she touched...and listening to good music too! Granted, that was the `80's so we didn't find out until later that the music actually sucked... :p:

Edited to add: The other type of funeral I'd be okay with is putting my body on a raft with a sword in my hands and setting it ablaze and pushing it out to sea. I think that's a viking funeral, but I really don't know. That wouldn't be for any reason except that it's probably one of the cheapest ways to have a funeral, and I don't want to be a financial burden to anybody after I'm dead. Making people spend money on you when you're not around to enjoy it is just ridiculous! (Swords are cool, though, so that's why I want them to get me one of those! :) )

Were you ever on active duty in the military? If so, you can be buried at sea by the military for free!

Kwahati wrote:The other type of funeral I'd be okay with is putting my body on a raft with a sword in my hands and setting it ablaze and pushing it out to sea. I think that's a viking funeral, but I really don't know. That wouldn't be for any reason except that it's probably one of the cheapest ways to have a funeral, and I don't want to be a financial burden to anybody after I'm dead.

It would be pretty cheap until someone calls the Coast Guard. They'll launch at least one boat and probably a helicopter that operates at about $10,000 per hour. We see a few spurious alerts a year, usually EPIRBs set off by mistake. The CG will bill a minimum of $5000 per event.

GRUMPY PIRATE wrote:Were you ever on active duty in the military? If so, you can be buried at sea by the military for free!

Yes, but I was Air Force, not Navy...does that mean they'll drop me out of a plane for free? (`Cause that'd be awesome!)

hobie16 wrote:It would be pretty cheap until someone calls the Coast Guard. They'll launch at least one boat and probably a helicopter that operates at about $10,000 per hour. We see a few spurious alerts a year, usually EPIRBs set off by mistake. The CG will bill a minimum of $5000 per event.

Wait a sec...I know they charge you for your own rescue, but if I'm dead, I wouldn't need rescuing, right? I guess I could have my friends knock out my teeth before they set me on fire so I'm completely unidentifiable...do you think they'd go back and check the military records for a DNA match so they could find (and charge) my family?

It dosn't matter which branch, it is free, and they will dispose of cremains or an intact body, no charge.

http://www.navy.mil/navydata/navy_legacy_hr.asp?id=204

I looked it up for someone on another board,, whos father had passed, and he was an Army vet. They did not have a lot of money, and he had wished to be scattered after cremation.

I only know about it, as when I was in the navy, we performed the cermony for six people when we were on local operations out of San Diego.

They can donate my body to science fiction.

ktulu wrote:They can donate my body to science fiction.

Steven Wright...

GRUMPY PIRATE wrote:Steven Wright...

...who once described himself as a "peripheral visionary": "I can see into the future, but way off to the side." :)

Kwahati wrote:See, I want mine to be an ACTUAL rock concert. With all the bands I've been in, there should be enough musicians in attendance to pull together a group to play!

My grandmother's "funeral" was a party in her memory. A bunch of people (a couple hundred as I recall) all getting drunk, eating good food, and chatting about how great a person she was and how many lives she touched...and listening to good music too! Granted, that was the `80's so we didn't find out until later that the music actually sucked... :p:

Edited to add: The other type of funeral I'd be okay with is putting my body on a raft with a sword in my hands and setting it ablaze and pushing it out to sea. I think that's a viking funeral, but I really don't know. That wouldn't be for any reason except that it's probably one of the cheapest ways to have a funeral, and I don't want to be a financial burden to anybody after I'm dead. Making people spend money on you when you're not around to enjoy it is just ridiculous! (Swords are cool, though, so that's why I want them to get me one of those! :) )

Are you a Viking? If we need a hat, you can always get one of those at the Norway Pavilion. They have the horns on them and everything! :D:
I have always said Ralphie and I are going to be toasted and roasted and thrown into the sea along with the ashes of our two favorite kittycats in the whole world, one of which is already ashes :( (my angelcat, Orion) and the other, Tawny, BETTER not be going anywhere very soon!
Susi*ashes to ashes* (david bowie version)...slicker

Ack! Where is the David Bowie smilie? hee hee hee, And I guess we find him we need Alice Cooper too! LOL! :hysteria: