Stupid Guest Tricks

While we are on the subject of pleasant movie viewing experiences, do remember that for the $9 you coughed up for you ticket at the box office, you get to bring in WHATEVER YOU WANT. This is an unadvertised perk at AMC. I have it from multiple managers that they are not allowed to stop you from bringing in your own food/drink. While your experiences may vary, I've never been stopped at an AMC in my area.

My ususal thing is to stop at a gas station on my way to the movie. Pick up a 32oz soda for $.79 and maybe buy some candy or popcorn at the theather. I've done this numerous times with all items in full view of the ticket taker. I hope this doesn't start controversy, but as far as I'm concerned the money is better in my pocket than in thiers.

susislicker wrote:Hey ZAZU, Where's the smilie or should I say sick frownie of someone blowing their nose? heh heh heh...

Oh for crying out... I'm still trying to get some bus driver his set of 200 different violence smilies and you just want a sneeze?

It's not very good but this is all I've got time for right now: :sneeze:

Hack hack COUGH! I wish I had got the lady's phone number so that I could call her and charge her when we both got sick today. Liz ERed and I may need to do too, as I am feeling crappy now. Grr...


As far as kids go, I once wanted to have them, but in the last few years I have been wanting to have kids less and less. Granted, mine would be so different from so many that are out there; but still, I don't know that I have it in me to raise children correctly. Too much of a softy.

But if we do have kids, I have made a few decisions on which I will stand fast:

1) They are not going to any movies, restaurants, theme parks, etc. until they are old enough to appreciate it. Five or six years old will be good. If Liz and I want to do these things, we will get a babysitter.

2) They WILL respect people of the world around them.

3) They will know how to compartmentalize and control their emotions, so that if they need to do something they don't want to do, they'll do what they need and deal with the feelings later.

4) They will not attend a PG-13 movie until they are...oh, 13 years old or so.

5) If I have a daughter and I find out she starts dating (anything more than "group" dates) before 17 or so, her boyfriends will have to deal with me. If need be, I will buy a German Pit Bull for the occasion.

6) They will know early on what a spanking is, so that hopefully by about five or six, we don't need to use them very much. Please note, the spankings will not be administered in anger or right after the crime that earns them.

7) They WILL respect people of the world around them.

8) My kids will hear the phrase, "You can't have that because we can't afford it." They need to understand the value of money early on, and understand that they weren't born with a golden spoon in their mouth.

Kids grow up too quickly today. I think it destroys their adult personalities and stunts what they could have been. With my generation, we're seeing it come out full-swing. My generation scares me to death, because I think mine is the first where you will see a lot of SG's coming into the parks, and they are SGs because they are actually stupid people, as opposed to those just one generation up from me who were SGs because they had brains they had left at home.

I call mine the smartest generation of idiots to ever walk the planet. They can program a computer or do calculus, but when it comes to livinig life they are clueless.

And Mommy of whom I spoke earlier? She's not that much older than me.

I shudder to think what the next generation will be like.

Zazu wrote:I'm still trying to get some bus driver his set of 200 different violence smilies and you just want a sneeze?

Hey, you're doing a great job at it, too. But I thought the new contract stipulated a minimum of 500. But I am patient. Heck, I'll even help out if you ask nicely.

Big Wallaby wrote:5) If I have a daughter and I find out she starts dating (anything more than "group" dates) before 17 or so, her boyfriends will have to deal with me. If need be, I will buy a German Pit Bull for the occasion.

These might help.

Eight Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as hell are not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.

Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.

I've tried to ensure that my daughter's dates are informed of these rules but she strenuously objects to me tattooing them on their chests.

[quote="hobie16"]These might help.

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places lacking parents, policemen, or nuns. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her chin. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided]

Are you sure about the Hockey game??

Both my son and myself have played the game for many years both organized and pickup. I know what can happen in a locker room or in the parking lot afterwards.

Hockey games are off limits to my youngest daughter!

Cranbiz wrote:Are you sure about the Hockey game??

Both my son and myself have played the game for many years both organized and pickup. I know what can happen in a locker room or in the parking lot afterwards.

Hockey games are off limits to my youngest daughter!

I will bow to the voice of experience.

Wow...I take a few days off and miss out on my name being bantered around...definitely sounds like a job for Syndrome! In a case like this, where they weren't sitting in a position to get trompled or have something spilled on them, I would have done the following:

Since mommy didn't want them to hear an ugly word like "masturbation," I think Mr. Syndrome and I would have gotten into a conversation about all sorts of intimate topics...facing so the kidlets could hear...in graphic, continuing, colorful detail. If Idiot Mom dared say something, I would smile sweetly and reply, "Well, since you and your poster children for birth control are making it so we can't enjoy the movie, we have to kill the time in alternate conversation."

Hmmmm....wonder if I'll have a chance to try that out when I got to see the Simpsons movie :twisted: Problem is, I'll probably see it here in Celebration, and pretty much no one is ever there!

Big Wallaby wrote:Hey, you're doing a great job at it, too.

That's why *I* am the Smiliemeister.

But I thought the new contract stipulated a minimum of 500.

no, the request was to make violent smilies the biggest category. At present, that requires only 107.

But I am patient.

I'm glad *one* of us is.

Heck, I'll even help out if you ask nicely.

I am always interested to find new sources of smilies. Just IM me the URL (or the actual smilie) and I'll put it up.

Zazu wrote:Oh for crying out... I'm still trying to get some bus driver his set of 200 different violence smilies and you just want a sneeze?

It's not very good but this is all I've got time for right now: :sneeze:

That one is good, appropriate for the kiddie sneeze in the theatre. Thank you Zazu...you are very sweet! ;)
susi