Stupid Guest Tricks

CujoSR wrote:Give us a little plug while your at it!

Absolutely, Cujo!!

These are all great suggestions! Keep 'em coming!

Suggestions? How about this song from the Director's Cut of Mary Poppins:

"The Perfect Guest"

If you want to visit
Our magical places,
Don't come running
Like it's the races.

A smile on your face
Is infections, you'll see,
And try to remember
It's not "All about ME!"

You must be kind, you may be witty,
No matter if ugly or fairly pretty

But please keep your clothing on
While you are here,
None of us really want
To see your rear.

Never be cross or cruel
Never hand us diapers or drool,
Treat us as a son or daughter
And never drink the Jungle Water.

Listen to our questions
and our answers too,
Believe what we say
We won't lie to you.

If you won't scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won't hide your guidemap
So you can't cope,
Put toads in your stroller
Or Tabasco in your Coke.

Come and visit,
but remember.
Sincerely,
Every last cast member.

Main Streeter wrote:Perfect Zazu, Perfect. Thanks!
Also....leave those damn SUV ankle cutting strollers at home. :mad:

Leave strollers at home.....................PERIOD!! Take your kids to Disneyland when they are old enought to walk without the need for a stroller.

You guys have pretty well covered it it, but I think I can add:
Do your research as to what rides are currently in the park. This will save you from looking like an idiot when you ask where a certain ride is that was taken out 20 years ago.
Control your kids, make them keep all parts of their bodies inside the ride at all times, and when the R.O. tells you only two people in a ride unit, it means two people! If you can't count to two, or whatever, please brush up on your math skills before coming to the park.
The fences are not ladders, seats, or trashbins.
If a gate/entrance says Handicapped Only, make sure you have your Make A Wish, Handicap I.D. or other qualifying I.D. in hand. Also, please let the R.O. let you in; we had a situation on the Calico Railroad at Knott's where some H/Cs let themselves in through a gate near where the train parks, just as the train was coming into the station, and the engineer had to stop really short until we got after the miscreants.
Please adhere to the ride requirements; we really don't believe for a minute that your kid rode this ride "a thousand times". And don't ask us if these rules are new; they've been there as long as the ride has been there. And it cuts no ice with us if someone allegedly let your kid ride before.
Do not argue with us as to what the ride is capable of doing. Unless you have a degree in engineering or physics, there's alot more to the ride than it looks, in regards to the effects on the body (speed, motion, etc.). We know our rides quite well, and are looking out for your safety.
If despite being told in detail why your too short/too tall/whatever non-qualifying kid can't ride, you insist on our letting them on the ride, please do your kid a favor and turn yourself in to the police/child protective services; you are committing child endangerment, a felony.
If a ride requires a R.O. to do a walk through of the ride (Calico R.R. at Knott's), do not trip the R.O.--it's not funny, and if the R.O. gets hurt, you can count on getting your stupid ass being sued off.
If you are going to drink before coming into the park, and you have a small child with you, bring a responsible person with you. I once had a guy who obviously had had a few before coming to Knott's, and he had his little boy with him. He asked me where he could get some beer. I told him that sitdown restaurants like one in Fiesta Village did, and off he went. I should've called security. Bet he didn't get too far,though--since it wasn't even noon yet, and the restaurants make you buy a meal to go with your drink, and if the server believes you've had too much already, they can refuse to serve you.
Please don't pretend that you didn't see/can't read a sign that is brightly colored, at least 3' high and 2' wide and has the name of the ride, its rating, height requirements, etc. on it and use that as an excuse to not know the ride rules. Read the freakin' sign, or get someone who's literate to read it for you. And obey the rules.
Hold your child's hand at all times. If he/she gets lost, it's really your fault.
Don't climb on the rocks-- if your skull--or your kid's--gets smashed open after a fall, it's nobody's fault but your own.

Okay, I think that about covers it.

CMs do not have to hold your balloon while you ride and please do not allow you balloon to hit other guests or block their view. There is nothing more fun that driving 70 MPH on the freeway when a balloon hits you in the face, roll up them windows and hold onto that balloon. Balloons are fun until mylar hits a power line, sparks do fly and people do cuss when they lose power. Do not expect to get another balloon if it is lost on the tram or "accidently" gets popped by an irate guest who cannot see the parade because of your cute balloon.

Don't bring EVERYTHING in a big, bulging backpack!!! Bring what you NEED to the park, and LEAVE EVERYTHING ELSE AT HOME!!!

DLRFantasmic!Dan wrote:Leave strollers at home.....................PERIOD!! Take your kids to Disneyland when they are old enought to walk without the need for a stroller.

Sorry Dan,sad to say that would be 'impossible'. Remember what Walt said,he wanted a place that familys could enjoy 'together'. :)
Now if you'd like to 'carry' my grandkids back to the hotel at the end of the day,you're more than welcome.
I'm not blasting you personally,just the impracticality of your statement .

If you can, talk to someone else who has visited the parks before, preferably more than once. Make a list of what's important and ask! There's nothing more annoying than someone who swears they know what to do when you find out later they were covering up. Many SGT's would be avoided that way.

Use the manners your momma should have taught you when you visit. No throwing trash on the ground, use restrooms and wash your hands, be patient and polite, keep your carry-ons to a bare minimum, don't complain to CM's about prices or closures that aren't their fault, thank CM's for doing a good job, keep an eye on your children!!

Check the Disney website to find out what will be operating at the time you visit. Also applies to whatever hotel you stay at, as your family may be upset if you are actually 50 miles from Disneyland if you were expecting to see fireworks from your room.

Study your park map. Know alternate routes to each location you flew all the way from whocaresville to see. We don't make exceptions just for YOU to go through a firework fallout area, parade zone, VIP area, or other such event. Learn when fireworks, parade, other events of the sort are and learn what closes off for those events.

Also, dont ask a CM that does not have a radio or is near a phone to find out of another attraction in another land/park/country is back up. Most Operations CM's cannot leave their positions--especially if they are running a ride, loading guests, or at fastpass return when its BUSY-- to find out if Splash Mt. is back up.

If you think that waiting in the 70 minute standby queue for Peter Pan's flight is too long, get a fastpass, and return at the time indicated on the fastpass ticket. Only wait in a 70 minute queue if you are actually willing to be waiting for 70 minutes. Don't assume the wait time signs are wrong unless it is extremely obvious (like 5 minute wait for pan when the line is extended out into liberty square). 70 minutes means 70 minutes, not 50, 20, 10, 2 hours, or any combination of the above.