Stupid Guest Tricks

What the CM said: (at FoLK) "Please move as close together as you can, and there is no saving of seats. Thank you."

What the SG heard: (or told her pussy whipped husband) "Save four seats. I'm going out this exit to find so and so, and I will be back."

What was said: Please move all the way across the theater.

What was heard: Please stop in the middle and sit down regardless of how many people are behind you. Everyone else move all the way across the theater. :mad:

BRWombat wrote:What was said: Please move all the way across the theater.

What was heard: Please stop in the middle and sit down regardless of how many people are behind you. Everyone else move all the way across the theater. :mad:

So true.

What was said: Please move all the way across the theater.

What was heard: Please stop in the middle and sit down regardless of how many people are behind you. Everyone else move all the way across the theater.

You left out this

Feel free to let your kids walk, chew and bounce on the seats. Feel free to take a short cut to the front row while pushing people out of your way and if they do not move then feel free to climb over the seats to get to the perfect seat.

What was said: Please do not block the aisles.

What was heard: WE do apologize for not giving you enough room in your seat for your luggage, kids, trash and the rest of the stuff you are hauling around. Feel free to throw your half eaten burger on the ground, throw popcorn all over the arena, spill all the soda you want and please let your kids stick their gum under the seats and on the floor. The entertainers will gladly perform around your pile of luggage, body parts, brats, trash and other items you may leave in the aisle. The aisle is the best place to put stuff you do not want broken or stolen. The show will start next year.

Here's one from the cruise ships:

What was said: No video or flash photogaphy during the show.

What was heard: The announcement applies to everyone but you because you are special and exempt from the rules of common courtesy. Please feel free to distract everyone around you with your video screen and blind them with your flash as you take a photo every two minutes.

There are lots of SGs with seating on the cruise ships, too. Twice now, my husband and I have run into someone who thinks they can save the entire front row. Yes, the ENTIRE row!! We just plop our butts down as we say, "The Navigator (daily schedule) clearly states that seats cannot be saved. If you have a problem with that, I suggest you complain to a crew member." Somehow, they never seem to do that. I had a woman thank me for standing up to the Row Hogs...she and her grandchild had moved from the front row because they thought the Row Hog must work for the cruise line. She didn't think a fellow guest would be so rude as to think he could save the whole thing. After I confronted him, the Hog stormed off...she and her grandchild saw what happened and moved back up.

Syndrome wrote:Here's one from the cruise ships:

What was said: No video or flash photogaphy during the show.

What was heard: The announcement applies to everyone but you because you are special and exempt from the rules of common courtesy. Please feel free to distract everyone around you with your video screen and blind them with your flash as you take a photo every two minutes.

Damn, were you aboard the Disney Wonder last week with me? Thought my wife was going to get us both the plank for badmouthing and kicking the seat of a self-appointed photo historian in the row in front of us. She had both a video camera and a flash camera and used both at the same time. At least we have the comfort of knowing that the sound on her video was full of my wife's voice asking questions like, "Were you born an asshole, or did you have to study?"

Zazu wrote:At least we have the comfort of knowing that the sound on her video was full of my wife's voice asking questions like, "Were you born an asshole, or did you have to study?"

ROFL!!!! Your wife is a gal after my own heart!! We should all plan a cruise together and institute a reign of terror aboard the Wonder...all SGs beware!!
When I had a photo historian next to me, and he gave me the old "No speak English" routine, by the end of the show his flash had blinded me so severely that I accidentally stomped the crap out of his toes as I left. After that, he nearly climbed on his seat to avoid my husband...I guess body language is universal.

Syndrome wrote:Here's one from the cruise ships:

What was said: No video or flash photogaphy during the show.

What was heard: The announcement applies to everyone but you because you are special and exempt from the rules of common courtesy. Please feel free to distract everyone around you with your video screen and blind them with your flash as you take a photo every two minutes.

There are lots of SGs with seating on the cruise ships, too. Twice now, my husband and I have run into someone who thinks they can save the entire front row. Yes, the ENTIRE row!! We just plop our butts down as we say, "The Navigator (daily schedule) clearly states that seats cannot be saved. If you have a problem with that, I suggest you complain to a crew member." Somehow, they never seem to do that. I had a woman thank me for standing up to the Row Hogs...she and her grandchild had moved from the front row because they thought the Row Hog must work for the cruise line. She didn't think a fellow guest would be so rude as to think he could save the whole thing. After I confronted him, the Hog stormed off...she and her grandchild saw what happened and moved back up.

If there are guests who require interpreting they will save seats on the far right section of the theatre in front. Then they seat the guests in the second row and ask that no one sit in front of them in the first row. They do explain what is going on. Some people choose to move completely away from that area, others just sit to the sides of the reserved seats. THis is the only time I know that certain seats are reserved.
Very often if there are

What was said:
"All bags must be placed in a locker before entering the line."

What was heard:
"Go over there and wait for 30 seconds and then hide your bag under your shirt."

What was said:
"Please do not sit on the ropes."

What was heard:
"Feel free to continue to sit on the ropes and when they break, I will laugh hard and then ask if you're okay."

What was said:
"Please sit down."

What was heard:
"Feel free to remain standing on the Jungle Cruise so that as we dodge the rock in the veldt I can watch you fall down and then proceed to laugh."

What was said:
"Don't go out the window--wait until you're sixteen and your parents are asleep."

What was heard:
"When you turn sixteen, use the windows as an easy escape."

What was said:
"This is a high-speed, indoor, launching, roller coaster."

What was heard:
"Your two year old will like this."

What I said: The only cotton candy cart that might be open right now would be the one next to the Photo Supply Store on Main Street. You could try that one.

What they heard: Oh, yes. The cotton candy cart is located next to the Photo Supply Store on Main Street. They will be open all night. Take your time!