Don't mess with 'scary Disney' adults

[hobie16]

From the Zanesville TimesRecorder

There are Disney people, and then there are scary Disney people.
Kathleen Norton

You know where I stand. Not long ago, I admitted giving a teeny "shove" to a boy who got between me and Mickey Mouse at Walt Disney World.

Now, you might think that being a scary Disney person is lonely.

You would be wrong.

There are lots of them out there. They are scary. And they are writing to me.

"No one understands that we live to hug a big duck or shake hands with a mouse in pants," they say. "But you, Boomer Gal, you have set us free!"

I am uncomfortable with so much adoration. Not to mention weirdness.

But if other scary Disney people want to worship me, who am I to stand in the way?

There are two scary Disney people, especially, who have impressed even me with their scariness.

They have a strange obsession with ducks of every kind, including Disney's Donald Duck. And you gotta love that.

Their names are Julie and Paul. They are baby boomers and they live on the west coast of Florida. They have been duck fans since they were kids.

Julie wrote to tell me they even raised a duck on their lanai. The duck's name is Oscar.

We pause here so I can say something to Julie.

Dear Julie: I am in upstate New York. We go outside three days a year. Nobody has a duck on a lanai. I'm not even sure what a lanai is, but it sounds like something that Floridians brag about to New Yorkers so New Yorkers will move to Florida and then Floridians can move to Mali Mali, which is even warmer than stupid Florida.

Love, your friend, Boomer Gal.

OK, back to our story.

Oscar the Lanai Duck followed Paul and Julie around, learned to jump up steps and even throw himself into a tub of water.

Julie and Paul hoped that sparks would fly between Oscar the Lanai Duck and the Lonesome Widow Duck that lived on a pond in their community.

(Since they don't worry about winter, Floridians have time to play Cupid for ducks.)

Well, Oscar turned out to be an "Oscarette" and the love story had an unhappy ending.

And what, you may ask, does Oscar the Lanai Duck have to do with Disney World?

Keep your pants on, we're getting there.

Besides loving Oscar the Lanai Duck, Paul also loves Donald Duck. But he didn't have much luck finding him on their trips to Disney World.

Finally, during one visit, Paul and Julie came around a corner and, as Julie tells it:

"THERE HE WAS ... in all his four-foot glory."

That's when it happened. A kid jumped Paul in the line. And what Paul did next makes all us scary Disney people proud.

He leaned down, lifted the kid up under the armpits, put him back in his place and stepped up to meet his favorite person, er, duck, while Julie snapped a picture.

Nobody knows what became of the kid who got in Paul's way.

But there are rumors.

Some say he jumped the three-hour line for the Space Mountain roller coaster and was never seen again.

Others say that he joined a commune for kids who have been shunned by scary Disney people. Nobody knows for sure.

So let this be a lesson to kids who hope to catch a break in line with Paul, Julie or me at Disney World.

We're taller than you. Some of us raise ducks on the lanai. Do we sound like the sort of grownups you can mess with?

Darn right, we're not.

Boomer Gal Kathleen Norton was born at the peak of the American baby boom and prays for one thing every night: that Social Security doesn't go bust before she needs it.

[BRWombat]

Love it. Good find, hobie!

[hobie16]

Love it. Good find, hobie!

I'm on a rainy day schedule and am looking for something to do.

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Too funny!!, I wonder where the baby SG's parents were?

heheheh

MMmmmmm roast duck!!!