Hey guys, I've missed you...

[GaTechGal]

Well maybe have him OVER for Thanksgiving, just not FOR Thanksgiving.

[Figment76]

I'm glad to hear your mom had a change of heart and that things have calmed down.

Get well soon.

[Big Wallaby]

In my own defense

No need to defend yourself. Heck, I started the thread and I don't feel the need to defend myself. You're all good.

[February]

Sorry I haven't updated in days, my family has been busy doing Stupid Relative Tricks and dad's situation stays maddeningly stupid.

He walked out on the PET scan they were supposed to do on Sunday because this podunk hospital sends the thing around on a truck between their facilities and demanded 800 dollars up front to do the test.

I think he panicked at the thought of laying down for an hour- he hasn't layed flat since he had the trach put in.

As it stands, we are at a stand-off. I just got done being yelled at by my 30 year old brother who lives at home, has never held a job and doesn't even drive (by choice) that I need to 'get back into' the situation more actively. He complains that I have 'somewhere to go' to get away from the situation and he doesn't 'have that luxury'. Oh, you mean the luxury of the fact I moved out at 19 and got a job, a life, and have worked my ass off at it all these years? That luxury?

That little punk.

My father is still refusing to seek even a cursory second opinion, and I've told my parents that I can't stand by and watch him just give up like this while they expect me to stand there and smile and hold his hand. He is, it seems, refusing all forms of testing and treatment and my brother is screaming at me like I have some magic wand to make it all better and my mother is screaming at me that she doesn't even believe he has cancer (don't let the lab results throw you there, Mom) my oldest and second sisters have had another falling out, sadly because my oldest sister will NOT let my religious 'status' go. Second sister told her she was done having the same repetitive conversation when it has no bearing on what is happening with Dad.

So, it's just as big a trainwreck as I knew it would be. My mother is only whining about how hard this all is on her- but they refuse any practical help at every turn while still finding a way to somehow blame me for all of it.

Can you believe, when i pointed out to my brother that I am the only one of the four kids who on top of dealing with failing health of my own has a child to care for, his response was a very condescending "honey, she's 12 she doesn't need you to hold her hand all the time." My reply was "Honey, you're 30, and mom is 65 and dad is 67. Who needs my hand-holding more, all of you adults or the only CHILD in this family???"

They're all freaking crazy.

So now I am listening to pretty music and trying to get my BP down again.

I just hate it when people yell at you to do something but refuse all of your help and suggestions.

Isn't the technical definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? I think that is really what I'm up against here.

Hope everybody is doing good, haven't been on the computer in days before now just trying to keep myself from having a total nervous breakdown as the phone continues to ring off the hook and nothing ever changes.

love to all
Bru

[Ladyfair]

Sending all the hugs, mojo and good vibes I've got!

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Families are usually kind of nuts to begin with (that's because you can't choose them!), but add a stressful situation, and every eccentricity/oddity/quirk/annoyance seems to come busting out, ready to rumble.

Praying that you can find peace and strength, some way, some how.

[hobie16]

I had a sign on my desk for years that read,

COMPLAINTS
But No Whining

Sounds like you could use one with your family.

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Sadly, Bru's family reminds me of when my father was ill.

Kinda the same deal, I flew in from the coast and had to deal with all the "infighting" with the family. I finally just went to the doctor and nurses, and told that thay apperently my whole family has turned to morons while I was away, and that dad needed to undergo whatever medical procedures the doctors recommended. I stepped on a bunch of toes, but he got the morphine he needed and the other care.

Course the first thing I did was look up the nurse in charge of the ward, and got the whole story.

I wish it would be better for you Bru, but I know what kind of things families can dream up when it comes to issues like that.

Perhaps they are all afraid of the truth. I know that when I was listening to the information the Doctor and nurses were telling me, I didn't want to believe it either. But I was glad I did, as it helped me make some very hard but informed decisions.

[dazyhill]

Big Hugs Bru :snoopy2: :linus:

Your father sounds like he is really scared. Keep supporting him. As for your brother,ignore him. People like that are addicted to attention and love to manipulate people. My younger brother is the same way.

[hobie16]

Let's see. Thirty years old, lives at home, no job, doesn't drive. He must be a real babe magnet. Does he watch "his stories" every day too?

[DisneyMom]

Bru,
YES THEY ARE CRAZY!
But it won't get better by itself.
Do you have any outside support involved?
I think a counselor who is experienced in these things could at least help you, and family counseling is obviously needed. I would guess they might not accept it, but at least you could get some back up. I can't imagine the stress you must be under.
I hope things improve for you all.