Sordid Sexual Encounters (Warning: Explicit Content!!)

Weeble · Post by **Weeble** » Tue Jun 08, 2004 2:02 pm

Time for sordid story number 2.

We used to have a system for meeting up with girls. It worked like a charm and was the source for many good times for the 5 years I worked at D-Land. DISCLAIMER: YES I KNOW WE WERE PIGS. WE WERE 19 AND HORNY. KARMA KICKED MY ASS LATER, DON'T WORRY.

Here is how it worked:

Let's say you are off at 5pm today, it's summertime and the clothes are skimpy.
There were three variables involved
--Hottie Factor
--Time to Meet
--Location of Meet

When you met a girl (sorry, if you can't meet girls on your own this system is not for you!) you think you want to hook up with, you grade her on the classic 1-10 scale. The higher she ranks on the hottie factor, the earlier meet time she gets and the closer to Harbor House.

So let's say you meet a 7, she seems interested but has to hang out with her underage sister. You set up a meet time of 6pm at the Kennels.

You meet a 5. She seems nice and your friends are telling you "she's in your league". You tell them to go to hell, that you are a pimp master with more game than that. You secretly ask her to meet you at the far end of the ticket booths at 630pm.

You meet a 9 and she's already drunk at 1pm. She tells you that she broke up with her boyfriend and she and her girlfriend are in the mood to cut loose. Also, she likes puppies and gymnastics. She gets a meet time of 5:01pm at Harbor House and you do your best to ER 30 minutes early so you are already waiting for her.

So your hope is that the 9 shows up. If she does, awesome, time to head over to Acapulco's then your apartment! She uses you like a pommel horse and you wake up in the morning with chalk on your nipples.

If she no shows, you move on to the kennels. You spend the day back in the park, taking her little sister on rides. You make out with the big sister on Mansion, Pirates, Peoplemover and the Teacups (hey, you get it where you can). The next morning, co-workers as you why you were hanging out with your cousins in the park. Surprisingly, they don't make mention of the fact you were making out. You shudder.

If the 7 no shows, you meet the 5. You stay in toontown where you don't know anyone. After making out on the jolly trolley for what seems like hours, she asks you when you are going back to your apartment. The next morning you wake up, go brush your teeth and find the polaroids your roommate snapped of you and your "date" spooning. You vow to piss on his toothbrush.

I hope you enjoyed this technique for maximizing your hookup potential with guests. Please go out there and use the Jedi Force young Padawans.

OBI WEEBLE KANOBLE

sistercoyote · Post by **sistercoyote** » Wed Jun 09, 2004 2:19 pm

Sigh. That should have been "Castle Candy" above...this is why you shouldn't post when exhausted.

Cloud Buster · Post by **Cloud Buster** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 6:54 pm

LOL....I like the way you've got the system worked down to a science, Weeble. Of course, you can't meet guests at Harbor House anymore! I guess the closest equivalent would be the bus stop on Harbor Blvd.

pixiedust · Post by **pixiedust** » Fri Jun 11, 2004 7:30 pm

Cloud Buster wrote:Of course, you can't meet guests at Harbor House anymore! I guess the closest equivalent would be the bus stop on Harbor Blvd.

How romantic. lol

SRT_GB · Post by **SRT_GB** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:34 pm

Forgive me for bringing back an old topic, but I just remembered something I had wanted to post after I quit, especially since a few of the lurkers on this board used to work with me at Strollers.

There were rumors that I had sex with at least two different girls, and my girlfriend with at least 3 different guys in the Package van. None of the rumors were true, but my girlfriend and I can say with confidence that we got the most action in that van. What did we do? Well, since you Strollers people love talking about the crazy people you used to work with, you guys can figure it out on your own. 8)

trancevicious3 · Post by **trancevicious3** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 3:50 am

Ok Ok, im sure im not the first CM to ever get freaky in a place you shouldnt. We alwasy talk about the guest who do the nasty but what about all you CMs... what and where have you gotten freaky?

Ive had the pleasure to explore the real backstage areas.... way way backstage! I could have gotten fired or thrown in jail for the stuff i did!

Weeble · Post by **Weeble** » Wed Nov 03, 2004 1:52 pm

How about on a Jungle Cruise boat, while taking a "deadhead". Love those slow nights. :twisted:

trancevicious3 · Post by **trancevicious3** » Thu Nov 04, 2004 1:30 am

K Lot! Nuff Said

Jessica Rabbit · Post by **Jessica Rabbit** » Thu Nov 04, 2004 3:54 am

sistercoyote wrote:My understanding is that there was once a female cast member who had, uh, relations with a unicorn pop in the back room of palace candy.

This is not, however, firsthand knowledge. So it may not be true.

hahahahaha! I know that girl :mickeyba: nasty little thing

Sweetums · Post by **Sweetums** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 12:09 pm

Well I have to admit that 70% of my "Disney Action" happened at MuppetVision 3D. (The Sweetums Greenroom a.k.a. the love den has always had the repuation of being a haven for carnal encounters.) -So the most interesting place I've ever done it was doggystyle with my girlfriend (at the time) behind the projection screen, second tier of the catwalks, inbetween the speakers.
What's so kinky about it? When you're behind the screen, you can see all of the audience, but they can't see you. 8)
It's kind of a rush to see 500 people wearing 3D glasses watch you doin' it.

Stupid Guest Tricks

Sordid Sexual Encounters (Warning: Explicit Content!!)

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