Stupid Guest Tricks

From Not Always Right. Location: New River Gorge, West Virginia:

Customer: “How do you get the boat to spin like we just did? Is it hooked up to wires?”

Me: “Um… ma’am, we are rafting on a river. This is not a ride. There are no wires.”

Customer: “I thought this was a ride, like at a theme park.”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is a real river.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Guess I better not fall out, then.” *continues paddling*

Huh. I thought that was only a problem on Safari. I started calling it Safari Syndrome.

"Trust me, ma'am. That rhinoceros is real. And that one that you're trying to climb out of the truck to touch likes to think of himself as a puppy. A 3,000 pound lap dog. Just imagine your minivan, trying to sit in your lap. On Sunday afternoo... Okay, folks. With that, we're just going to move along and let the game warden deal with that one. Trust me, folks, you don't want to see what she experienced when the 3,000 pound playful puppy tried to sit in her lap."

Goodness, I need to write to Bob Newhart with what I have above, and have him do one of his one-person dialogues as a safari guide.

A couple years ago at the San Diego Zoo I was fortunate to be able to feed a rhino and scratch his back with a long handled scrub brush. Not 15 min later he and his brother were butting heads with loud BOOMS.....a little shocking considering how placid they were before.

DisneyMom wrote:A couple years ago at the San Diego Zoo I was fortunate to be able to feed a rhino and scratch his back with a long handled scrub brush. Not 15 min later he and his brother were butting heads with loud BOOMS.....a little shocking considering how placid they were before.

What did you put on the brush?

Big Wallaby wrote:Huh. I thought that was only a problem on Safari. I started calling it Safari Syndrome.

"Trust me, ma'am. That rhinoceros is real. And that one that you're trying to climb out of the truck to touch likes to think of himself as a puppy. A 3,000 pound lap dog. Just imagine your minivan, trying to sit in your lap. On Sunday afternoo... Okay, folks. With that, we're just going to move along and let the game warden deal with that one. Trust me, folks, you don't want to see what she experienced when the 3,000 pound playful puppy tried to sit in her lap."

Goodness, I need to write to Bob Newhart with what I have above, and have him do one of his one-person dialogues as a safari guide.

I LOVE the Bob Newhart reference. I can't get enough of his one man dialogues. The bus driver training is by far my favorite.

Bus driver trainer, driving instructor... so many great ones out there.

I like the one where Abner Doubleday called the big game syndicate in New York to "pitch" his idea for baseball.

Audio here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh4CvpfXUZ4

hobie16 wrote:

DisneyMom wrote:A couple years ago at the San Diego Zoo I was fortunate to be able to feed a rhino and scratch his back with a long handled scrub brush. Not 15 min later he and his brother were butting heads with loud BOOMS.....a little shocking considering how placid they were before.

What did you put on the brush?

Eleph-rhino