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Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodshed.

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 11:01 am
by SkipperGordon
Hi guys! I haven't worked at Universal for almost 4 years now, so I figure it's safe to share some of my more "obvious identity" stories.

I was working at the Jaws ride at Universal Studios a few years ago and we had a bit of a pigeon problem. The ride was right next to the midway so it was a convenient place for snackies for pigeons and well...hawks. It was not uncommon for a hawk to swoop down in the middle of the courtyard and nail a pigeon in a violent and gristly fashion. It was awesome.

One such air raid took place just as a boat was unloading at the dock. The hawk was startled by the sudden arrival of 40 people on the scene and skeedaddled after landing what appeared to be a glancing blow. The pigeon took shelter behind one of the trash cans at the dock. This had happened before and led to a massive increase in the wait line because guests are dumb and, "OMG a pigeon! On the dock! TAKE A PICTURE!"

I grabbed a broom to shoo the bird away only to discover that it was having a massive seizure due to head trauma and was not long for this world. In an effort to spare the soon-to-arrive boat full of guests the sight of a slow and painful bird death, I donned my gloves and picked up the pigeon to snap its neck. Instead, the damn bird's head popped off! I screamed, drawing the attention of a nearby maintenance worker. He looked at me...then at the head on the ground..then at the bloody corpse in my hand...then back at my face. Then he uttered these immortal words in his trademark brooklyn accent, "Is that its fucking head?"

I couldn't help myself. I started laughing hysterically. Tears of horror and laughter were streaming down my face as I held this dead fucking pigeon in my hand. Then the next boat arrived. I shoved the body in the trash, kicked the head into hiding, hid my hands behind my back and plastered on a smile, "Hey guys! How was your boat tour?"

Re: Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodsh

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 12:27 pm
by Swordfish Flotilla
Tell it to the Marines! :lol:

Re: Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodsh

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 3:33 pm
by Big Wallaby
SkipperGordon, so good to see you! That's disgusting.

I am about to tell a story that involves you, but I don't know if you ever knew it happened. It's also going to sound like I am referring to myself, and while I am not involved in this story, I don't mind if everyone here thinks it was me. Whatever.

So this person was telling me they went looking for you at Jaws, and asked for Skipper Gordon. No, I think it's a female Skipper Gordon.

He tells me that the person at the dock had quite the laugh at his expense. Did that story ever make it around to you?

Re: Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodsh

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:59 pm
by SkipperGordon
It did! The person at the dock was actually a trainee of mine. She told me that story later in the day and we had a good chuckle about it.
I'd be curious to know if some of you actually did ride my tour.

Re: Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodsh

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 9:04 pm
by SkipperGordon
http://stupidguesttricks.com/viewtopic. ... per+gordan

Here's the story! Says in the comments that I wasn't working that day, so Hillary must have talked to me about it later.

Re: Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodsh

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 9:57 pm
by mapo
Yeah, that is disgusting.

But, I wonder, is anyone else surprised when guests whip out their camera device(s) to take pics of just regular animal around the parks?

I mean seriously, take a picture of a bunny or a pigeon or a duck?? Really?

Now, when the ducks were playing ummm "leap frog" in the water -- now THAT is a photo moment. Especially when a wide eyed kid asks Mommy why are they playing leap frog as Mommy is video taping it! Mommy on the other hand really seemed to have no idea what the ducks were really up to. I had to move away quickly as I started to laugh....I didn't mean to....bit my lower lip and quickly moved out of the area to backstage.

Better, imagine when a certain hawk catches a bunny then lands in the bushes to have his dinner. This female guest screamed loud enough for me to hear her three countries away on the World Showcase. I mean the shrieking was amazing. "Somebody make him stop! Ohhh gawd......blood.....make him stop! My children are ...ohhhhh!" There was more but I forget the words.

So here I am hauling butt to the screaming. I find hysterical Mother type with three kids who are staring down the hawk in the green area between the lagoon and the railing eating his dinner. My heart pounding, she indicates that hawk and dinner are reason for screams. She wants me to make the hawk stop.

"No, Ma'am. I am not getting between him and his obviously dead dinner."

She starts screeching again..I told her she had to calm down. Her screaming has caused a huge scene and now is upsetting a large number of guests on the promenade. "Circle of Life Ma'am....he is doing what hawks do...Disney will not get in the way of that....did you miss the film in Future World? Nope, not going over there .... Circle of Life Ma'am...we have a whole theme park about that"

She barely calms down...I tell her for the safety of other guests she must stop screaming or be removed from the park. She has numerous people in the area that are unsettled....a few know what is going on..most are quickly moving out of the area to get away from the screams. People are starting to panic in small area...which can ripple into a large scale panic easily.

She settles down a bit more at the threat of trespass but now loudly (at least not screaming) declares that Disney has traumatized her children. I hand her off to the Park Duty manager, after explaining the situation, and leave him to deal with her.

Of course, I now must answer a whole bunch of questions from my manager and other managers in the area who saw me deal with "Save the dead bunny" Mommy.

On a brighter note, the entire Showcase came to a standstill the day that one of our bald eagles decided to perch on the top of the flag pole over American Adventure. Yup, forget the entertainment on the stage...that bald eagle just stayed up there for a couple of hours. I think she was the most photographed thing at Epcot that day. Cast from around the park came backstage to take her picture. And so many guests thought that we had trained her to do that...that she was part of some show. :oweye:

I have to be honest and say that the view of her just plopped up there sent shivers down my spine. She looked so regal and completely unfazed by all the hoopla below. She was kind of my little piece of magic that day...and was definitely the talk of the park for about the next week.

mapo

Re: Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodsh

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 6:35 am
by hobie16
mapo wrote:...that bald eagle just stayed up there for a couple of hours.
Probably trying to decide which guest to carry off. Decisions, decisions.

Re: Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodsh

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 9:35 am
by drcorey
prolly thinking, hmm hawk stuffed with bunny

Re: Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodsh

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 2:17 pm
by Zazu
drcorey wrote:prolly thinking, hmm hawk stuffed with bunny
Hmm. Something to try when I weary of Turducken.

What would you call that? Ehawkunny?

Re: Skipper Gordon Returns With a Tale of Horror and Bloodsh

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 2:30 pm
by GaTechGal
mapo wrote: But, I wonder, is anyone else surprised when guests whip out their camera device(s) to take pics of just regular animal around the parks?

I mean seriously, take a picture of a bunny or a pigeon or a duck?? Really?
A number of years ago I took a photo of a bunny with a leg missing over near Cinderella's Castle. It was interesting to me only because we had just had our photo taken over near there with the White Rabbit. So it seemed funny and made a great scrapbook page.

Also I wonder if some folks don't have that type/color of animal where they come from.