Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga

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IndyandMarion
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Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga

Post by IndyandMarion » Tue Jul 06, 2004 5:19 pm

Hey everyone. New here, but saw the premise of the site, had to join. Being a fan of Bill Engvall, I simply had to start a Disney version of his famous, Here's Your Sign series. I've collected these from friends at work. Mostly Area 60 Merchandise at the Studios (Indiana Jones Adventure Outpost and Tatooine Traders), and my area 3 (Fantasmic!). The whole thing has grown to the point to where I've actually taken the time to put these into an ever growing book.

So, here is the book:

Now for those of you who are new to this little marvel, here's the deal. Here's Your Sign was a skit originally started by Bill Engvall. In general, H.Y.S, is the "Stupid answer to the stupid question." Well, at Disney, the tradition continues. I introduced many cast members that I know to one of the greatest past times while at work which is simply a book named "Here's Your Sign: The Disney Edition" Basically, whenever we get a stupid question, we record it in the book. I swear to you these are all 100% real, nothing about the question was altered.

Ladies and Gentlemen, in the 1950s (At least introduced to Disney parks), tourists were born. In 2004, it was discovered that tourists and goldfish have something in common, they retain information for 3 seconds, which explains for their stupidity. It's amazing and confusing. Even the smartest people in the world can walk through the gates of a Disney Park, and turn into a complete idiot.

*Please note, 8 15, 16, 17, and 24 are not actual answers, just the ones we wanted to give. The rest of the list are true answers.

1. What time does the 3 o'clock parade start?
At 4 o' clock (SHE WALKED AWAY)

2. Where is the Terminator Ride?
Ok, lots of directions so you might want to write these down. Go to the exit of the park, go back to I-4 and go east bound...(This ride is at Universal Studios so, You know the rest)

3. Where is the Prime Time Cafe?
(This was actually given (as the answer): From here?
(This has to be the first time I have EVER run into a H.Y.S for an ANSWER.)

4. (Standing no more than ten feet away from a restroom) Where's the restroom?
(Pointing in the opposite direction) Down the walk way to your right.

5. (This was a TEN MINUTE ARGUMENT) Where is the boat from MAGIC KINGDOM to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS?
I believe the dock is at Animal Kingdom (The idiot, he lost the "Guest" status after the argument got passed the five second mark, finally gave up)

6. (While standing inside the shop) Where's the gift shop for Star Tours?
(Look around the shop) Sorry sir/ma'am, we don't have one.

7. (In the shop) Is this the exit for Star Tours?
No actually this is the entrance, the exit is over by the Tower of Terror

8. (No more than 20 feet away from the attraction) Where is Star Tours?
Go back to the hat, walk down Mickey Ave. to Streets of America (recently changed from New York Street), walk to the end of that and make a right, then a left. (Basically, this gives them a tour of the park, and they finally end up at Star Tours)

9. Is Rockin Roller Coaster this way? (Pointing towards Star Tours area which is on the opposite side of the park)
Yes

10. Is the Tower of Terror this way (Again pointing towards Star Tours area)
We actually don't have that anymore, it was moved to Disneyland.

11. Do you have a map? (While standing in front of a stack)
More important question, do you have a brain in your skull?

12. How do I get to the monorail to EPCOT? (Question asked at The Studios)
I'm sorry, we just finished tearing that down.

13. I was walking by the Astro Orbiter (In Tomorrowland at Magic Kingdom) and I was hoping I had misheard the group wrong. Sure enough, they said what I heard:
Oh look! There's MISSION: SPACE! (An argument then started over the location of MS, which is located at EPCOT).

14. What is the wait time for Rockin Roller Coaster? (With a sign telling the time above them in bold letters saying "Wait Time")
About 3 hours, give or take a day..

15. Where is the Backlot Express? (While HOLDING A MAP IN HER HAND, WITH IT OPEN, AND YES, STANDING IN FRONT OF THE BE)
First thing, go to lost and found and see if they found your head!

16. How much is this? (WHILE THE PRICE TAG WAS IN FRONT OF HER ON THE ITEM!)
Too expensive for you.

17. Do you think they'll have this hat at UNIVERSAL STUDIOS?
Before you look for that hat, Do they sell brains where you come from?

18. (While at the Indiana Jones Outpost...yes, at the Studios) How do I get to the MGM Studios?
Daughter: Dad, we're at MGM
Father: No, we're at Universal right now
(I was passing through the shop) I have no comment for this, other than when I walked backstage, I pulled out my pistol (At the moment I was working at the Outpost), stuck it in my mouth and hoping it would somehow fire a bullet, pulled the trigger.

19. Where is the Prime Time Cafe (Again, with a map, open and in their hands)
Its at Downtown Disney.

20 (While at the Outpost, with a MAGIC KINGDOM MAP OPEN) Where is Tom Sawyers Island?
Um, about 10, maybe 20 miles from here.

21. Announcement: " This tram goes to the main car parking lot and the complementary bus lot ONLY. We do not go to the Disney Buses" This is announced about five times. I over heard a guy in front of me ask his wife (I'm guessing)
"Does this go to the DISNEY BUSES?"

Guest 1: Guess how many people Animal Kingdom can hold.
Guest 2: How many?
Guest 1: about 40,000.
Guest 2: Oh? Here at Disney World in general
(I'm not even going to make one up. Just shoot her!!)

23. Outside of the River Rapids (A sign posted reads "Might Get SOAKED")
"Wow, lots of people are coming off here really wet"
"Really? Wow, who would've thought you could get soaked on a RIVER RAPID WATER RIDE

24. "How do we get over to that area" (Pointing to Everest, which is still UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
"Swim across the lake and hope you don't get caught"

25. Are you using these seats?"
"Nope, we're just hoarding them in case there is a chair shortage”

26. (While waiting to escort the next wheelchair party, which was located near a concession stand) "Are you in line?"
"Nope. Just a strange coincidence that I'm wearing the exact same thing as the people who work here"

27. Announcement: Due to inclimate weather, this performance of the Disney Stars and Motorcars Parade, has been cancelled.
"Why has the parade been cancelled?"
"Because we didn't feel like having it"

28. *Stage manager comes on the intercom at Fantasmic*
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do have some unwanted news. At this time, the show has been postponed due to lightning in the area. The reason because of this is for the safety of our cast and guests."
(Place was dead silence during the announcement) No more than 10 seconds later, I get the question...
"Why was the show delayed?"

30. "I have a question. What time do they roll the EPCOT ball out?"
Sir, the Spaceship Earth is stationary
Yeah, what time do they bring it out?
"6:30"

If your ever at Fantasmic! Look for the one with the Mickey Hands and ask if that person is Indy...cause that's me.


A good photograph means knowing where to stand

coldfire409
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Post by coldfire409 » Tue Jul 06, 2004 10:34 pm

Position: Greeter
Location: The Great Movie Ride

Guest: Is this a ride?
Me: No this is a show we only call it The Great Movie Ride to confuse you

Though I have never answered the question this way I wanted to many times.

Position: Gangster
Location: The Great Movie Ride

This one isn't necessary a H Y S as it's just a stupid comment from a guest

Parent to child: Don't be afarid of the gun it's just plastic.

Meanwhile I take shot 1 and a huge spark comes out of it. Just for the record those firearms are real. Security cannot even handle them.


Elvis didn't do no drugs!

IndyandMarion
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Post by IndyandMarion » Tue Jul 06, 2004 10:39 pm

The day I quit working at Disney is the day they let those Rent A Cops carry or even get near a gun, plastic or real.

Does anyone know what their purpose is other than to give the illusion that they are worth something? Cause they sure has heck don't make me feel safe.

And those "Undercover RACs"? Yeah, right :rolleyes:

I'm going to add that one to the book.

Here's a question that I ask a lot of CMs over there, how's business been ever since they blew up the boss's hat and put it in front of GMR?


A good photograph means knowing where to stand

coldfire409
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Post by coldfire409 » Tue Jul 06, 2004 10:52 pm

As far as the hat goes it's hard for me to say. I started over there after that damn hat went up. Some people say that it hasn't made a diffrence, but who knows for sure.

As far as the RAC goes, they are worthless. For security I take care of myself. Because I know that if I call security they will take 20-30 mins to show up.


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Post by IndyandMarion » Tue Jul 06, 2004 11:00 pm

Geez. Has it been THAT long since they put the hat up? I looked at your avi and saw what it was. Hard to believe that it was nearly three or four years ago when they started putting that thing up.

Kinda sad that the hat marked the end of the largest Hidden Mickey.


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Post by IndyandMarion » Fri Jul 09, 2004 8:38 pm

Guest: Which way to the monorail?
Me: We dont have a monorail here at the Studios
Guest: Yes you do! I came here this morning on one!
Me: Oh, we tore that one down a few hours ago.

Im not lying on this...

Guest: What?
Me: Here's Your Sign. You either drove, took a bus or took the boat to get here. We don't have a monorail here at the Studios.

2. From a friend at the Animation Tour shop
Guest: Can I get to the TERROR OF TOWER (What the guest actually called it) cutting through here?
Her(Friend): Sure, as long as you don't get caught.
Guest: Why? It shows a walkway leading from here to the Tower.
Her: Really? Can you show me on the map?
Guest: Looked for it) Oh, I see the walkway now...

3. Same guy from earlier:
Guest: Is this the line for SpectroMagic? (Asking about the Line for Fantasmic....for those of you who aren't WDW savvy, SpectroMagic is a parade at Magic Kingdom...Fantasmic! is at the Studios....theres a 10-15 mile difference between the Studios and the MK park itself)
Me: Nope, this is the line for that monorail we tore down earlier.


A good photograph means knowing where to stand

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Post by IndyandMarion » Thu Jul 22, 2004 4:10 pm

At Rock n Roller Coaster


Guest-Is this a roller coaster?
Me-Nope, this is actually a tour of a record studios, hopefully you'll be able to catch Aerosmith before they take off for their concert tonight.
(Note: We play it off like it isnt a roller coaster but a tour since that's how the attraction starts off as)

While sitting in the limo seat (With the harness down, not the same person as before)
-Is this a roller coaster?
-Nope, this is just an accelerated version of our tour.
(Youd figure the harness would give away the answer)


Quick fun fact. You know the harness? Screw em, you dont need it. The way the ride is set up is on cyntrifical force so in all reality, you wouldn't fall out of your seat at all...provided we didn't have an emergency stop...then that would be bad.


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Post by IndyandMarion » Thu Aug 19, 2004 1:05 pm

Is there a parade? (People are lined up along the street)
Nope, we just like to see how many people we can get to stand on the side of the street from time to time.

Is there a parade? (I know, same question, different situation)
(The parade is no more than 30 yards away from the location and the music is on)
Nope, the streets on fire and we're clearing the street because of it.

Is Back to the Future near Tower of Terror.
Sorta. Do you have a car?
Whats that got to do with anything?
Because youll need to it drive to Universal to ride Back to the Future.

-Ok, Im trying to get to Epcot. I know there's a monorail from Epcot to Magic Kingdom, but.
-STOP! Right there, the answer is no.
-How rude, you dont even know what I was going to ask.
-Given the situation, your about to ask if we have one from the Studios to Epcot.
-How did you know?
-Im physic, here's your sign.

-( From a friend) (At EPCOT at 7:30....pm) Im trying to get to the monorail for Animal Kingdom to watch the fireworks at Animal Kingdom.
-Im sorry ma'ma but the monorail has stopped running due to technical problems and the fireworks were at 4:30....
-Oh? I was over there around that time...
-Ugh. Ma'ma, there isnt a monorail at AK and there arent any fireworks due to the animals...


A good photograph means knowing where to stand

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Post by fantoongal » Wed Sep 22, 2004 3:21 pm

This is the kinda of stuff that makes me question human intelligence.

Guest: How long are your foot long hot dogs?
Me: 12 inches.
Guest: 12 inches *thinking* So that's like a foot right?

Here's your sign!

-ftg


"I only hope that we don't lose sight of one thing - that it was all started by a mouse." - The Man Himself, Walt Disney

2003-

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Post by IndyandMarion » Wed Sep 22, 2004 6:18 pm

I'm back! I've been working over at G-Force Records the past few weeks (Uh, thats Rock n Roller Coaster for those who didn't know what G-Force is). Plus it gives me a chance to use my nickname "Indy" like every second of the day. A-Anyways, sure enough, the stupidity continues. I give you...

Here's Your Sign: The Rock n Roller Coaster Edition...

Welcome to G-Force Records. In just a few moments the doors to Studio C will open toward you. That's where the band Aerosmith have been laying down a few tracks before they head off to their concert tonight. Should they still be inside, please no flash photography or video taping at any time. Also when the doors do open please move all the way to the left filling in all the available space. Well, I think that about covers it. That's the business, Rock on. Oh! I almost forgot. I hope you enjoy your three hour tour here at G-Force Records where we're turning the music industry....up...side...down.

Is this Rock n Roller Coaster?
-Nope, this is actually Star Tours

Is the wait time actually ten minutes?
-Actually it was about thirty minutes ago, now its about an hour wait.

Is the coaster inside? (Referring to the fact that you can't see it.)
-Nope, its invisible.

(In the courtyard there is a GIANT Les Paul for those of you who have never been to RRC. The arm of the guitar morphs outward into a track like look with a car at the end of the "track." The car never moves and it is clearly visible that it is not the coaster)
Is that part of the track?
-Yes, the track just magically appears out of no where at a certain point and then disappears again.

(Asking about the "3 hour tour" comment)
This is Rock n Roller Coaster correct?
-No this is an actual 3 hour tour

Is Aerosmith actually here everyday?
-Yes, Their career is completely finished so they come in every day and record songs here at the coaster.

Does this roller coaster have any loops? (After reading a sign saying that this ride contains high speed loops, sudden drops and stops.)
-Nope, as a matter of fact, this isn't even a roller coaster.

*And Yes, the intro is what I say on a daily basis when Im working at Studio B.


A good photograph means knowing where to stand

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