It happened in the queue for Roger Rabbit, but it might have happened anywhere. She was fifteen, rather pneumatic, and blythly unaware of her blooming femininity as she waited with her family.
Behind me, mostly.
As we came around each turn, something else interesting would present itself, and she would squeeze past me in a way that would have cost me a substantial sum back on South OBT (or had my wife been with me). Not entirely unpleasant, but she kept pushing me into the opposite wall, and I was quite aware that her father was only a few feet away.
After about twenty minutes of this, she pushed back past me once too often, and I turned to face her and her family and gave her "The Talk".
"Miss, I know you feel like a little girl on the inside and that you're all excited about being at Disneyland, but on the outside you're a woman. As a result, if you want to continue to rub your body up against mine, you're going to need a note from my wife, and probably one from your father, as well. While you work on the paperwork, I need to ask you to take a step back. In return, I'll stay close to the people in front of me and do all I can to help the line move quickly. Okay?"
Her father, who looked like he was about to bust a gut laughing, put his arm around her and said, "Mi Hija, we need to talk...." and the bouncy boobies went away.
I'd like to think I was instrumental in bringing that family a little closer to one another, and perhaps a young girl farther away from the sort of trouble that might have ensued had she chosen someone less civil to poke.
Then again, I did wait twenty minutes before I spoke up -- my wife wasn't with me.
A Coming of Age Story
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Big Wallaby
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Re: A Coming of Age Story
I can't imagine being that dad. I have no kids yet, but one of the things I look forward to in having kids, especially daughters, is adding to my shotgun collection regularly, having NRA posters up all around the house when she brings her first boyfriend home... and most of all, teaching any daughter I have early on to be a young lady with self respect.
What you did there was classy. You communicated to a young girl that she is attractive and needs to be in control, as well as communicating to her father, in a non-confrontational way. I am glad it didn't get you killed.
What you did there was classy. You communicated to a young girl that she is attractive and needs to be in control, as well as communicating to her father, in a non-confrontational way. I am glad it didn't get you killed.
My opinions are mine and mine only. If my opinions are the opinion of others who happen to share whatever my crazy views may be, then fine, but it's not because I represent them in having my opinions. Got it?
Re: A Coming of Age Story
It was the term pneumatic that sort of threw me at first. Great story. If she had been MY daughter she would have pushed past you only once and I would have made her apologize and then stand behind me. Pushing in line is NEVER allowed by any child at any age.
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Big Wallaby
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Re: A Coming of Age Story
When I was in school we had a joke about this. It was right about the time that the term "valley girl" was popular, and the joke asked why they wore shoulder pads.GaTechGal wrote:It was the term pneumatic that sort of threw me at first.
I thought the term pneumatic was great. I am stealing it.
My opinions are mine and mine only. If my opinions are the opinion of others who happen to share whatever my crazy views may be, then fine, but it's not because I represent them in having my opinions. Got it?
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TiggerHappy
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Re: A Coming of Age Story
Geez, Zazu, maybe she just thought you were hot.Zazu wrote:Then again, I did wait twenty minutes before I spoke up -- my wife wasn't with me.
:hysteria:
(Sorry, too early in the morning...)
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hobie16
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Re: A Coming of Age Story
It was the Hawaiian shirt.SG I Yam wrote:Geez, Zazu, maybe she just thought you were hot.
:hysteria:
(Sorry, too early in the morning...)
Don't be fooled by appearances. In Hawaii, some of the most powerful people look like bums and stuntmen.
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BRWombat
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Re: A Coming of Age Story
I'm sure I would've loved having a daughter, but it's for this very reason I'm thankful for my two boys. Then again, if you do have a daughter, you only have to shoot the first guy and the others will fall in line. Or avoid her completely.Big Wallaby wrote:I can't imagine being that dad. I have no kids yet, but one of the things I look forward to in having kids, especially daughters, is adding to my shotgun collection regularly, having NRA posters up all around the house when she brings her first boyfriend home... and most of all, teaching any daughter I have early on to be a young lady with self respect....
"This would be a great place if we could only get rid of all these people." - Walt Disney
VocalMajority Twitter
VocalMajority Twitter
Re: A Coming of Age Story
Problem is, that's a hard one to sell to a jury. Threatening sure, who doesn't do that, but actually shooting puts you in the awkward position of scaring off the rest from jail. ;)BRWombat wrote:I'm sure I would've loved having a daughter, but it's for this very reason I'm thankful for my two boys. Then again, if you do have a daughter, you only have to shoot the first guy and the others will fall in line. Or avoid her completely.