things you could do without seeing or watching someone do

[PatchOBlack]

Have you seen Kick Ass? I'm surprised at what they make kids do, but in reality, Hollywood doesn't care as long as they make money from it.

I am not ready to condemn the whole of the entertainment industry quite yet. I'm not say that their are not unscrupulous types out there. Of course there are. I'm just not convinced that such attitudes are the rule rather than the exception. Not to mention...well, considering that movies have people watching and making sure they can't even step on cockroaches as part of a scene, I am dubious as to someone getting away with anything too outrageous with a child.

[Zazu]

Social commentary on breastfeeding.

[shilohmm]

To be fair, I also have the same issue with some of the public displays of affection I see in public from both heterosexual and homosexual couples. There's kissing, and then there's "get a room."

Good reminder that rudeness is legal - and to some extent, should be. With a lot of stuff there needs to be a fairly large space between what's comfortable and what's illegal, true of both PDA and breastfeeding. I've seen cases of teenagers making out where it's "get a room," but OTOH when hubby was in the military I saw the same sort of activity between people who'd been separated for a good long while and just smiled, because I knew them well enough to know they'd honestly forgotten where they were (I admittedly have low tolerance for PDA :p: ).

I feel the same way about the idiots who flaunt their breasts and the women who want to be discrete and the fates are against them (kid pulls something out of the way and mom doesn't notice or whatever). Any law that forbids the first makes the second criminal.

[TechieSidhe]

I think that it's situational. What's appropriate at the night club is probably not appropriate for Disney.

Many people don't have the situational awareness to adjust their behavior accordingly. I don't know whether that's a outcome of the "self-esteem" movement where nobody wants to inhibit their child's creativity, or what. I am very careful to pay attention even at work to where I am. Depending on what department I am working in, or even who I am working with, I will adjust my actions and demeanor. Something I would do in my department, I would never do around senior management. The same thing in my social life.

My grandfather always told me "You may not know anyone in the crowd you're in, but someone might know YOU." I always keep that in mind. I behave in public as if someone I don't know, but knows me, might see me and tell my grandfather what I was up to. If it would be embarrasing, I try not to do it.

If someone told my grandfather I was sitting breast feeding my kid, I'd be okay with that. If someone told him I was "flashing my highbeams" at people, I'd be embarrased.

[GaTechGal]

I think that it's situational. What's appropriate at the night club is probably not appropriate for Disney.

Many people don't have the situational awareness to adjust their behavior accordingly. I don't know whether that's a outcome of the "self-esteem" movement where nobody wants to inhibit their child's creativity, or what. I am very careful to pay attention even at work to where I am. Depending on what department I am working in, or even who I am working with, I will adjust my actions and demeanor. Something I would do in my department, I would never do around senior management. The same thing in my social life.

My grandfather always told me "You may not know anyone in the crowd you're in, but someone might know YOU." I always keep that in mind. I behave in public as if someone I don't know, but knows me, might see me and tell my grandfather what I was up to. If it would be embarrasing, I try not to do it.

For me it's all about manners, which are (to quote the movie "Blast from the Past") "to make others around you as comfortable as possible". I know public breastfeeding makes others uncomfortable, so I try to be discreet and cover up or go somewhere that others won't be. But I also realize that a crying baby would be disturbing as well, so I don't want to NOT feed. Sort of a Catch-22.

If someone told my grandfather I was sitting breast feeding my kid, I'd be okay with that. If someone told him I was "flashing my highbeams" at people, I'd be embarrased.

And I'm ALWAYS telling my kids that "no matter where you are, chances are SOMEONE is going to be around that knows your mother and will rat you out."

[WEDFan]

For me it's all about manners, which are (to quote the movie "Blast from the Past") "to make others around you as comfortable as possible".

I love that movie. My wife and I are forever telling each other "Write that down." :D:

[shilohmm]

For me it's all about manners, which are (to quote the movie "Blast from the Past") "to make others around you as comfortable as possible".

My mother always taught me that manners were about making others comfortable, so all you needed to do was "do what you would prefer in that place" but that bit of advice is a lot less useful for those of us with strong autistic tendencies. What makes me comfortable is, alas, not what most people want. :p:

The Golden Rule still applies, but it's in the sense of being considerate of other people's preferences rather than just doing what you yourself would prefer. So while mom would just ask herself, "What would I want in their place?", I have to ask, "what do most people want in their place?" Which requires research and then sometimes you still don't always know, because most people aren't all people.

My parents taught me a lot of stuff by sheer example, but mom eventually realized that she had to sit down and parse out daily manners. :p: Manners should be about making others more comfortable, but in functional terms they're more about making things go more smoothly -- knowing whether to go left or right when approaching someone is a skill I appreciated a lot more after living in Korea (where veering left is the social standard).

[GaTechGal]

My mother always taught me that manners were about making others comfortable, so all you needed to do was "do what you would prefer in that place" but that bit of advice is a lot less useful for those of us with strong autistic tendencies. What makes me comfortable is, alas, not what most people want. :p:

The Golden Rule still applies, but it's in the sense of being considerate of other people's preferences rather than just doing what you yourself would prefer. So while mom would just ask herself, "What would I want in their place?", I have to ask, "what do most people want in their place?" Which requires research and then sometimes you still don't always know, because most people aren't all people.

My parents taught me a lot of stuff by sheer example, but mom eventually realized that she had to sit down and parse out daily manners. :p: Manners should be about making others more comfortable, but in functional terms they're more about making things go more smoothly -- knowing whether to go left or right when approaching someone is a skill I appreciated a lot more after living in Korea (where veering left is the social standard).

I completly agree about thinking of others. Not just what's easiest for YOU, but what makes things easiest for OTHERS. For instance, my WDW bathroom manner that I had to teach my daughter is go the furthest open stall not the closest open stall. It makes it easier for the folks behind you to find the next stall and then they don't have to walk past you. Seems trivial, but it can really make things run so much smoother. I still do that in every large public restroom I go into even if it isn't crowded and/or no one's in line behind me.

Another great example is my MIL always wants to make sure that no one is hungry. So she is ALWAYS asking can she get you something to eat or presses you to take seconds at dinner. Even after you've politely refused, she kind of presses the point until you've refused several times. That's sort of negative example. She should certainly offer once, but if you refuse, then she doesn't need to keep asking. It's what's comfortable for ME - no thanks mom not hungry (when maybe it's just that I'm still (forever) dieting).

We just need to do our best to make things easier for others and hope that they are doing the same for us.

[tommy_b]

place: Fantasyland Skyway
position: dispatch

A man in his 70's, maybe 80's, gets into a bucket with a woman in her early 20's. The minute the bucket dispatched the woman drops out of sight and it swings forward as it hooked the cable and I saw her going to town on the old boy. Eck!

I called the spotter in Materhorn and T-sky and they were similarly grossed out/fascinated/jealous. An unusual mix of emotions.

[PatchOBlack]

Now, I'm not going to comment on the relative ages of the couple in question, though I can understand how the disparity might add to one's "squick" factor. I have a sinking feeling that they did what they did, where they did, not because they thought it was hidden, but because someone might actually catch them. The thrill of the danger at being discovered and all that.

I take it these two got to meet a member or two of the security staff when they arrived at the Tomorrowland station?